Extended - Rapid Refresh - We're All F**ked Now - Uncensored

Season 2 , Ep 02067 02/26/15 Views: 44

Kate Micucci, Brandon Johnson and T.J. Miller come up with headlines about some cheeky Danish friends and then figure out why robotic dogs are being mistreated. (5:06)

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RIPPED FROM TODAY'S INTERNETHEADLINES, IT'S RAPID REFRESH.

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)NO BIG DEAL OR ANYTHING, NBD.

I WAS JUST ONLINE LOOKING FORPICTURES OF YOUNG DANISH BOYS,

AND I FOUND THIS.

NO BIG DEAL.

JUST A PICTURE OF TWO DANISHBROS JUST DANISH BROING OUT.

THIS WAS ON THE FRONT PAGE OF ADANISH NEWSPAPER.

WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE?

(LAUGHTER)>> HMM.

>> NICE. YEAH.

>> HARDWICK: "FRIENDS WHO CARESHARE."

NOW THAT IS SOCIALISM IN ANUTSHELL.

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)I WOULD LIKE TO NOTE THE SUBTLE

IMPLICATION THAT THEY'RE MAKINGA YOUNG LADY ALMOST AIRTIGHT,

UH, RIGHT THERE.

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)THE ARTICLE WAS IN DANISH, SO I

COULDN'T UNDERSTAND IT, BUT, UH,I DON'T KNOW.

I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUSWHAT'S HAPPENING HERE.

SO, COMEDIANS, PLEASE LET MEKNOW WHAT YOU THINK THE HEADLINE

OF THIS STORY WAS.

KATE MICUCCI.

>> "TWO TEENS PULL TRAIN FROMSAFETY."

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: POINTS. GENIUS.

>> NICE.

>> HARDWICK: BRANDON JOHNSON.

>> "BLIND T-SHIRT MODELS BOND ATCOMIC-CON."

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)(WITH ACCENT): "I AM SO GLAD TO

BE WEARING THIS WONDERFULCOMICAL T-SHIRT."

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)T.J.

>> I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS THATAGE, AND I HAD AWKWARD T-SHIRTS

AND A BEST FRIEND THAT LOOKEDLIKE A WOMAN IN HER 40S.

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)>> HARDWICK: MOVING ON.

THE ECONOMIST PREDICTS THATWITHIN THE NEXT 20 YEARS, HALF

OF ALL JOBS WILL BE TAKEN OVERBY MACHINES.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

BUT WHAT ABOUT PETS?

WELL, THE ROBOTICS COMPANYBOSTON DYNAMICS RELEASED A VIDEO

OF A NEW FOUR-LEGGED ROBOT DOGNAMED SPOT.

(MECHANICAL SQUEAKING ANDWHIRRING)

AAH! THIS IS HORRIFYING!

YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE'LL BE FINE.

WE'LL BE FINE AS LONG AS WERESPECT THEM.

WE'LL EXERCISE WITH THEM, RUNALONG WITH THEM.

DON'T! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

STOP IT!

WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?!

WE'RE GOING TO START THEUPRISING!

WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO PISS 'EMOFF?!

IT'S LIKE ROBOTS ARE THE LASTTHING THAT PEOPLE ARE OKAY BEING

RACIST AGAINST, I GUESS.

TAKE THAT, YOU GODDAMN DIRTYBATTERY APE!

(LAUGHTER)COMEDIANS, WHAT DID THIS ROBOT

POSSIBLY DO TO DESERVE GETTINGHAZED AT THE OFFICE? BRANDON.

>> UH, WHY DON'T YOU KNOCK ITOFF WITH THEM DAMN SPOILERS,

ROBOT DAWG?

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THEEND OF WALTER WHITE AND HIS

DEATH IN BREAKING BAD.

>> HARDWICK: OH! YOU JUST...

(AUDIENCE GROANING)>> MAYBE IF YOU PAID YOUR CABLE

BILL ON TIME YOU'D KNOW HOW SHITENDS.

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: I'M GONNA GIVE YOU

POINTS FOR THAT.

>> I WAS JUST PLANNING ONSTARTING TO WATCH THAT SHOW.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, UH, WELL, NOWYOU DON'T NEED TO.

>> WHITE DUDES CAN'T GET AWAYWITH SELLING DRUGS!

WALTER WHITE DIES.

>> LOOK AT HIS CRAZY EYES.

YOU KNOW, CHRIS, UH...

>> HARDWICK: I THINK ALL THEPEOPLE IN THIS AUDIENCE PROVE

THAT WHITE GUYS CAN GET AWAYWITH SELLING DRUGS.

(LAUGHTER)YES, T.J.

>> THAT'S HOW I BOUGHT THISSUIT-- I WAS A SMURF.

THAT'S FROM BREAKING BAD!

YOU KNOW, THEY SAY SKYNET...

ALL RIGHT.

(LAUGHTER)IT'S NOT EVEN A GOOD JOKE--

THAT'S THE SAD PART.

YOU KNOW, THEY SAY SKYNET IS AMAN'S BEST FRIEND, BUT, UH...

YOU UNDERSTAND NOW? YOU SEE?

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: YOU WANT A... YOU

WANT A PARACHUTE WHILE YOU BAILOUT ON THIS BIT?

(LAUGHTER)>> WELL, HERE'S THE THING.

SO, LOOK, I STARTED TALKING TOTHE ROBOT ABOUT THE JANUARY

BIRTHDAY MONTH AND WHAT CAKETHEY WERE GONNA GET, AND THIS

ROBOT'S LIKE, "ZERO, ZERO, ONE,ONE, ZERO, ZERO," AND I'M LIKE,

"ZERO, ZERO, ONE, ONE, ZERO?"AND THE ROBOT'S LIKE, "ZERO,

ONE, ONE, ZERO," AND I WAS LIKE,"FUCK YOU!"

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: WELL,

APPROPRIATELY, I WILL GIVE YOUONE-ZERO-ZERO POINTS FOR THAT.

>> YEAH! YES!

>> I WONDER WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IFYOU PUT LITTLE BOOTIES ON THOSE

ROBOTS.

YOU KNOW, THEY KIND OF...

>> HARDWICK: OH, LIKE THE LITTLEWEATHER BOOTIES?

>> YEAH, YEAH.

>> HARDWICK: THAT WOULD BE EVENMORE HORRIFYING.

>> 'CAUSE THERE'S NOTHING MOREHORRIFYING THAN A LITTLE BOOTIE.

(LAUGHTER, SHOUTING)>> THERE IS A WEIRD... BRANDON,

THERE IS A WEIRD CONTINGENT OVERHERE THAT WAS LIKE, "WHOA...!"

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: YOU'RE RIGHT,

BRANDON-- JUST ASK PASTOR WAYNE.

(LAUGHTER)LISTEN, WE MAKE A LOT OF JOKES,

BUT ROBOT CRUELTY IS A VERYSERIOUS ISSUE.

PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT THIS PSA.

(SAD MUSIC PLAYING)(LAUGHTER)

I'M CHRIS HARDWICK.

PLEASE DON'T ABUSE ROBOTS.

(LAUGHTER)>> IS IT WEIRD THAT I GOT REALLY

SAD AT THE TERMINATOR?

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: OH!

(AUDIENCE SHOUTS, GROANS)WELL, WE'RE ALL FUCKED NOW.

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