This is the last thingI wanted to tell you.

A little while ago

we had a hurricane, uh,here on the East Coast.

Um, I live in New York. Ithit... it hit there pretty hard.

I luckily was in a part of NewYork where it wasn't very bad.

I was very safe, but my momis from West Virginia,

and she comes from a townthat's, like, one dirt road

and it's in a circle,do you know what I mean?

So it's like, "Bye!"

"Where you going?"

"Back here. I'll be right back."

So my mom called meon the day of the hurricane,

like, 29 times to try

to help me survivethe hurricane,

which... I'm a 33-year-old man.

If I need my mom to call,maybe I should die, you know?

But she just kept callingand calling and calling,

and she would say crazy things

on the phonewhen she would call.

At one point she called meon the phone and she said,

"They said on the news

they're evacuatingthe entire state of New York!"

I was like, "No, they didn't."

Because they didn't say that.

"What are you talking about?"And I don't know what news

she seeswhen she's watching the news,

but my mom will seea different news.

When my mom is watching thenews, it must look different.

It must be like... It must looklike this... It must be like,

"Good evening. Tonight's news:

"your son Jared is in trouble!

"You have to save him!

"Quick! Look up hurricaneson Wikipedia!

"Send that to him.

"Send him a link.

"Just send him a linkin an e-mail.

"No, the link.

"So you got to send him the...Copy and paste the link.

"It's control-C usually.You got to copy the link.

"Copy the link! Okay, he's dead.You failed him.

He died. He died."