- I'm very insecure.
I used to ask womenin the audience,
as, like, a unit,just a whole group of women,
I'd be like,"Hey, what's the smallest dick
you've ever seenin your life?"
And I stopped doing that quick,
because I was lookingfor answers
that would me feel betterabout my dick size.
You know, they'd be like,"3 inches," or, "4 inches."
And I'd be like, "All right,I'm doing okay, then."
That's not what happened.
I found out from that question,from that polling system,
how horrible women are.
You're really terrible,terrible people.
If you ask enough womenin one group,
smallest dick you've ever seen,
you know the answermost of them give?
A lot of them givethe same one.
It's not even a measurementof numbers or anything.
They just hold upa pinkie finger.
"Mm, pinkie dick."
Pinkie--that's a lie, number one.
There's no man in the worldwith a pinkie dick.
A pinkie dick?
If you have a pinkie dick whenyou turn 18, you kill yourself.
You jump off a bridge
or something more hilariouslysmall dick related,
but you do not press forwardin life with a pinkie dick.
You girls are laughing.
Was that your answer?
Was that what youwould have said, pinkie dick?
You saw that in life?
Guy pulled it out for you.
What's your name?- Christine.
A guy pulled outa pinkie dick for you.
- [laughs]- Is that how it happened?
Sexual situation,guy whips it out.
- Christine,if you don't mind,
what did you do?
- I told himI had to go home.
- You told himyou had to go home.
[laughter, cheers, and applause]
I don't knowwhy you're applauding her.
That's the shittiestthing ever.