The First Space Walk

Season 3, Ep 13 11/24/2015 Views: 5,585

Russia sends Pavel Belyayev and Alexey Leonov into orbit, where Leonov performs the first space walk in history. (6:29)

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- All the 'nauts.

- To every 'naut.

- Cosmonautsand astronauts.

All the 'nauts.

- 'Naut.

- Hello, I'm Kyle Kinane.

and we're going to talkabout the first space walk.

1965! Space race underway!

America against Russia.

So Russia, they've been sending animals out.


But then, the U.S.,

they sent a monkey up there.


And then, Russia is just like,

Who's the most maniacRussian we have?

Pavel Belyayev andAlexey Leonov.

So Russia says, Pavel, Alexey,

do you want to dosome ape-[bleep] stuff?


We'd like you to bethe first human beings

to do a spacewalk.


Extra-Vehicular Activity.

Imagine what it's like to befloating around in the '80s,

except this is the '60s.

And they go, What do you gotgoing on with your life?


Same here.

Uh, yes, yes, I'll do it.

The mission'scalled the Voskhod 2,

and so Russia's watching on TV.

Finally, Russia's gotsomething awesome.

Good luck withyour rock 'n' roll

and your Beach Boys!

We got this.

So the launch--it pops off, man.

The launch pops off. It's good.

And so, they're like, We did it! We're in orbit.

Leonov pressurizes his suit,

and then leaves the airlock.

I'm floating in space!I'm floating in space!

It's the best thingI ever did in my life.

He's the first human being to do something.

Everybody's watching TV, this guy's out there,

the whole country's, Oh! We did it! We're the best.

The First Secretary, Brezhnev, is like,

Leonov, good job.

[blows out air]

Don't worry, don't worry.

So Leonov's like, Okay, I did it.

Can I get back intothis craft?

Oh, I can't even fitinside of it,

because the suitblew up too big.

He's got--filled!It's filled!

The suit's--[blows raspberry]

Filled up. He's stuck.

He's like, Oh, I [bleep] upthis whole thing.

So they cut the feed.

They immediately cut to Mozart's "Requiem,"

which is some depressingfuneral jam.

- [laughs]

- I'm--I'm assuming right nowyou'll play it, right now.

[Mozart's "Requiem" plays]

And it's just some sad [bleep].

But then, Leonov secretly real--

he can real-- he can--he found a nozzle,

so he had to--[imitates air sputtering out]

to depressurize.

And his temperature-- his temperature spikes.

He's almost got the bends.

He nearly kills himself,

just to get back inside to the spacecraft.

He's in!That should be the most of it.

He's in, and then,

they can't get the hatch closed.

Like noth--like, sitcom style,

nothing's going to go right for these guys.

Aw, [bleep].

Why am I looking at this one--

Should I be lookingat anywhere else

other than thisone point on the couch?

- [chuckles]

- So--so anyway, they fix the hatch.

Great, fine, great.

But that throws the balance off on the whole goddamn machine,

so they're stuck twirling around.

So Leonov says to Pavel,

Like, we gotta land thisright [bleep] now.

They're trying to figure it out.

They're trying to calculatethe trajectory

to get back,just land on Russian soil.

If we land,and we land in China,

that'll be [bleep] up,

because of...somethingthat Wikipedia tells us.

They twirl towards the Earth,

and then wait, whoa, whoa...

Kaboof. We landed.

Oh, man, we shouldget out of this capsule.

Ah, oh, we got--Oh, we got--

We can't get out--we can'tget out of this capsule!"

We should blow the doors!


With these tiny explosiveswe're provided with.

[imitates small explosion]

Oh, good, we're out.

Oh, where are we?

Oh, we're in the tundra.

- Oh, don't do that,don't do that.

- I know.I know how TV works.

All right, they land 2,000 kilometers off their mark,

in Siberia,

which is a real place...

In the middle of mating season for wolves and bears.

It's below-zero temperatures, wolves, bears,

all with just boners.

- Jesus.- Lookin' to [bleep].

- [laughs]

- And all they can say to each other is,

Well, I guess...

we should start...

with some sweet kisses.

[both laugh]

- Come on, man.What--what--how much more--

- Well, what happenedto them after--

- Der--Derek, don't say nothing.

- Yeah, I just wantto get what--

- It's--they're in Siberia.

They're blasting flares out. Ptoo! Ptoo!

They don't even have food,

or Sprites.

And then, after 30 hours,

they fi--

[bottle thuds]Finally they got rescued.

[triumphant music]

You wouldn't evenbelieve it.

- [chuckles]- Oh!

They're just some lunatics thatsaid "yes" to an experiment.

Cosmonauts, astronauts,any kind of 'naut.

Did, yes.The 'nauts yessed.

The 'nauts said, "Why not?"

- [laughs]- Where da--where da--

Where da button?Where da button?