Mike DeStefano - Helping Out

  • Season 14 , Ep 20
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 3,945

Mike DeStefano hates New York City cab drivers because they're racist and smell like sadness. (1:31)

I'M HALF IRISH AND HALF ITALIAN.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]NOW -- OKAY. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

I NEVER TOLD ANYBODYABOUT THE HALF-IRISH PART.

I GREW UP IN A NEIGHBORHOODWHERE EVERYBODY WAS ITALIAN.

I HAD A CHINESE FRIENDNAMED FABRIZIO.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I MEAN, WE ALL JUST ACTEDITALIAN. IT WAS RIDICULOUS.

WE HAD THESE TWO RUSSIAN KIDS --

FRANKIE AND VINNY RANDAZZO.

WHEN THEY CURSED AT YOU --

YOU EVER GET CURSED OUTBY A FOREIGNER?

IT'S THE BEST.

"I'LL PUNCH YOUR ASSIN YOUR [BLEEP]"

[ LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE ]

"I WILL KILL YOUR ASS.

I WILL PUNCH YOUR MOTHERIN THE ASS."

[ LAUGHTER ]

THEY DRIVE CABS NOW.

I DON'T LIKE CABDRIVERSIN NEW YORK. THEY'RE AWFUL.

THEY'RE RACIST,AND THEY SMELL LIKE SADNESS.

THEY'RE AWFUL.

I WANT THE BLACK PEOPLE TO KNOWI'M DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

I HAIL CABSFOR BLACK PEOPLE FOR $7.

I DO IT TO HELP OUT, OKAY?

I'M TIRED OF RACISM.

I'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR 40 YEARS.I'M TIRED.

I WANT IT TO STOP.

IT'S GREAT. I GET THE CAB.

THE BLACK PEOPLE HIDEBEHIND ANOTHER CAR.

THEY PULL OVER.ALL THE BLACK PEOPLE JUMP OUT.

AND THE CAB DRIVER SAYS

[Indian accent]"I DON'T WANT A PROBLEM."

I SAY, "WELL, TONIGHT,

"YOU'RE ACTUALLY NOT GONNA BECOMING BACK FROM BROOKLYN,

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH."

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