Rudy Rush - Black Leadership

  • Season 8 , Ep 26
  • 05/27/2004
  • Views: 2,769

Though there's no Martin Luther King or Malcolm X, there's at least Mr. T. (3:19)

I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

THINGS ARE GOING CRAZY IN THE

WORLD TODAY.

9/11 CHANGED EVERYTHING,

BLACK PEOPLE DIFFERENT.

WHITE PEOPLE DIFFERENT.

YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY?

WHITE PEOPLE-- LET ME TELL

Y'ALL SOMETHING.

Y'ALL THEM TERRORISTS IS

LOOKING FOR ALL OF US.

THEY LOOKING FOR YOUR ASSES.

BLACK PEOPLE, DON'T YOU HATE

THAT?

AFTER THEY HAPPENED, THEY CAME

TO WORK, LIKE, "OH, MY GOD,

THEY AFTER ALL OF US."

NA-AH.

I LIVE IN HARLEM.

THEY'RE NOT COMING TO MY

NEIGHBORHOOD.

AND BLACK PEOPLE, WE BE

TRIPPING NOW, TOO.

WE ALWAYS COMPLAIN "I CAN'T

CATCH A CAB TO SAVE MY LIFE".

LET ONE OF THEM BROTHERS WITH

THE TURBAN COME OVER NOW,

WE BE LIKE "NAH, NAH, GO AHEAD,

GO AHEAD.

[LAUGHTER]

GO AHEAD. I'M GONNA WAIT FOR

ONE OF THEM ASIANS OR AFRICANS.

I AIN'T MESSING WITH YOU, BRO."

"I'LL TAKE YOU TO BROOKLYN."

"NO NO, BOOM BOOM."

[LAUGHTER]

AIN'T MESSING WITH YOU.

EVERYBODY WAS SURPRISED THE

SNIPER WAS BLACK.

I WASN'T SURPRISED, MAN.

I WAS JUST A LITTLE FRIGHTENED

BECAUSE IT TOUCHED HOME WITH ME,

BECAUSE MY COUSIN, HE BECAME A

REVEREND IN VIRGINIA AND WE HAD

TO DRIVE DOWN THERE, THE WHOLE

FAMILY.

AND THEY DIDN'T CATCH THE SNIPER

YET.

IT'S ME, MY MOTHER, MY UNCLE,

MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS.

MY UNCLE'S 85.

I SAID YOUR ASS IS PUMPING GAS,

YOU LIVED A FULL LIFE.

[LAUGHTER]

HE WAS OUT THERE--

GAS ALL OVER--

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

WATCH YOUR HEAD.

WE WERE SCARING HIM.

WE WERE LIKE-- "WATCH OUT."

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

PEOPLE WERE-- LIKE BLACK PEOPLE

WERE SURPRISED.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING--

BLACK PEOPLE--

I WASN'T SURPRISED BECAUSE WE

DON'T HAVE ANY GOOD BLACK

LEADERS ANYMORE.

BLACK PEOPLE JUST DOING WHATEVER

THEY WANNA DO.

WE DON'T HAVE ANY MORE MARTIN

LUTHER KING NO MORE,

NO MALCOLM X.

LIKE THE LAST GOOD BLACK LEADER

WE HAD WAS PUBLIC ENEMY.

[LAUGHTER]

NO REALLY, THINK ABOUT IT,

WHO DO WE HAVE, JESSE JACKSON?

NOW, COME ON.

JESSE DID A LOT OF GOOD STUFF

BUT HE MADE ME MAD BECAUSE

YOU KNOW HE HAD THAT BABY OUT OF

WEDLOCK AND EVERYTHING.

BUT THAT WASN'T EVEN THE THING

THAT GOT ME MAD.

HE WENT TO COUNSEL BILL CLINTON

WHEN HE MESSED AROUND ON

HILLARY.

ANYBODY READ ABOUT THAT?

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT

CONVERSATION LIKE?

HE PROBABLY CLOSED THE DOOR AND

WAS LIKE, "YO, YOU AIN'T TELL

ON ME, DID YOU?"

[LAUGHTER]

MAN, Y'ALL TALK ABOUT

AL SHARPTON, AL SHARPTON'S

TALKING ABOUT HE GONNA BE

PRESIDENT.

I WAS LAUGHING BECAUSE I DIDN'T

THINK HE WAS SERIOUS.

BUT HE'S REALLY SERIOUS.

WHITE PEOPLE, LET ME TELL Y'ALL

SOMETHING.

Y'ALL DON'T GOTTA WORRY.

BLACK PEOPLE AIN'T VOTING FOR

NO BROTHER WITH NO PERM,

I'M SORRY.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

HE BETTER GET A GOATEE OR

SOMETHING-- FADE IT UP OR

SOMETHING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE GONNA DO.

I WOULD VOTE FOR MR. T BEFORE

I VOTE FOR HIS ASS.

[LAUGHTER]

DON'T LAUGH, MR. T MIGHT BE A

GOOD PRESIDENT.

MR. T?

HE DON'T TAKE NO MESS.

HE WAS WITH THE A TEAM.

YOU AIN'T GOTTA SEND NO TROOPS

OVER TO IRAQ OR NOTHING.

JUST SEND MR. T.

HE'LL BUST IN THERE--

"WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING WITH

THEM BOMBS, SADDAM?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"MR. T?"

"I PITY THE FOOL WHO MESS WITH

MY COUNTRY."

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

"I'M SO SORRY, MR. T."

"YEAH, FOOL, AND DIAL

1-800 COLLECT, TOO, DAMMIT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

DIAL DOWN THE CENTER!"

[APPLAUSE CONTINUES]

"WHO DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL,

MR. T?"

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN,

CALL SOMEBODY."

[LAUGHTER]

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