Every morning I wake up,and I pray
that it's my last day on earth.
Uh, "Earth" is the newstreet name for heroin, so...
Very positive joke.
I don't do heroin.
I like to get high on life.
"Life" is the new street namefor crack cocaine.
Big-time crack guy.
I have a beard on my face.
You guys notice? Yeah?
It's a win-lose beard.
It, uh, hides the acneit causes.
I'm sorry if I seem distracted.
I, uh... I usually doa ventriloquist bit,
and, uh, my dummywent out of town.
He didn't tell me, so...
Should have seen it coming.
He's a rescue.
I rescued him.I'm telling you,
'cause I don't havea lot planned.
I was gonna domostly a ventriloquist thing.
And he's calling me. Ugh.
I'm sorry. I have to take this.
This is so stupid.
Yeah, I'm stage right now.It doesn't matter.
No, don't... Hmm.
Doesn't matter.Don't show up.
Well, it's fine. You shouldapologize to everybody.
I'm gonna put himon speaker phone.
Yes, you're apologizing.Right now.
Okay. All right.
Go ahead, Snickers.
No, it's, uh...Bought two phones for that.
I pay twice as muchas you do a month for that.