Randy Liedtke - I've Got to Take This

Randy Liedtke Season 4, Ep 7 10/10/2015 Views: 1,105

While talking about drugs, Randy Liedtke gets an important phone call from a close friend who was supposed to be involved in his performance. (1:54)

Every morning I wake up,and I pray

that it's my last day on earth.

Uh, "Earth" is the newstreet name for heroin, so...

Very positive joke.

I don't do heroin.

I like to get high on life.

"Life" is the new street namefor crack cocaine.

Big-time crack guy.

I have a beard on my face.

You guys notice? Yeah?

It's a win-lose beard.

It, uh, hides the acneit causes.

(chuckles)

I'm sorry if I seem distracted.

I, uh... I usually doa ventriloquist bit,

and, uh, my dummywent out of town.

He didn't tell me, so...

Should have seen it coming.

He's a rescue.

I rescued him.I'm telling you,

'cause I don't havea lot planned.

I was gonna domostly a ventriloquist thing.

And he's calling me. Ugh.

I'm sorry. I have to take this.

This is so stupid.

Hey, Snickers.

Yeah, I'm stage right now.It doesn't matter.

No, don't... Hmm.

Doesn't matter.Don't show up.

Well, it's fine. You shouldapologize to everybody.

I'm gonna put himon speaker phone.

Yes, you're apologizing.Right now.

Okay. All right.

Go ahead, Snickers.

I'm sorry.

(applause)

Save it.

No, it's, uh...Bought two phones for that.

So...

I pay twice as muchas you do a month for that.

(laughs)