The Colbert Report

The Hammer Is Here!

Season 3 • 05/17/2007

Stephen realizes that global warming does exist and the hippies are causing it.

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06:50

Howard Dean
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Stephen asks Howard Dean, hypothetically, which candidate would he support: Arack Bobama or Mallory Vinton?
05/16/2007
03:59

Formidable Opponent - Peanuts
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President Bush is the Lucy in Chief and we have to trust his handling of the Iraq ball. Don't do it, Charlie Brown!
05/16/2007
04:18

The Word - Level Playing Field
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Like Rudy Giuliani, Paralympic sprinter Oscar Pistorius is simply turning a misfortune into an advantage.
05/16/2007
00:28

Intro - 5/16/07
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Stephen asks if athletes with prosthetics should compete in the Olympics, how much time we should give the surge in Iraq, and how Howard Dean rigged the midterm elections.
05/16/2007
03:33

Second Republican Debate
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Republican presidential candidates --you can say you're pro-torture all you want, but actions scream louder than words.
05/16/2007
06:51

Tom DeLay
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Stephen asks Tom DeLay, author of "No Retreat, No Surrender," how to get rid of this country's Democrat infestation.
05/17/2007
00:06

Sign Off - Rafters
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Stephen lets Texas' 22nd district soar again.
05/17/2007
06:35

Randy Kearse
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Stephen asks Randy Kearse, author of "Changin' Your Game Plan," if he has any advice for a certain former majority leader.
05/17/2007
00:31

Intro - 5/17/07
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In tonight's episode, Stephen sits down with former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay and learns the best way to use your time in prison.
05/17/2007
01:41

Baby Gun Permit
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A child should be at least 18 months old before he can own a gun.
05/17/2007
04:19

The Hammer Is Here!
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Stephen gets fired up for his interview with Tom DeLay, and Greenpeace rebuilds Noah's ark.
05/17/2007
05:46

Jared Diamond
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Jared Diamond explains how a conflagration of agriculture and resources helped Eurasians conquer the world.
05/21/2007
05:21

Cheating Death - Internal Decapitation
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Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA dispenses the health advice, mostly focusing around substitutes for Vaxadrin.
05/21/2007
03:41

The Word - His Way
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Stephen compares Paul Wolfowitz's exit from the World Bank to his own exit from The Daily Show.
05/21/2007
02:20

Presidential Fraternity
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Stephen takes issue with Jimmy Carter for apparently growing a pair and criticizing the sitting president.
05/21/2007
02:06

God Loves a Big Screen TV
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Stephen still believes the pope is infallible, except when it comes to his views on capitalism.
05/21/2007
00:28

Intro - 5/21/07
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Stephen provides all the news, minus a little something for himself.
05/21/2007
00:35

Intro - 5/22/07
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Stephen chastises the NBA for not letting their players punch people in the stands.
05/22/2007
03:12

Barack's a Liar
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Barack Obama's inability to remember what magazine he read when he was nine is all Stephen needs to call him a liar.
05/22/2007
01:23

Popularity Contest
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Stephen is outraged that someone would insinuate "American Idol" is merely a popularity contest.
05/22/2007
00:15

Sign Off - Lesson Forgotten
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen learns an important lesson about writing down important lessons.
05/22/2007
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