#HashtagWars - #ThingsHillaryGoogles

Tuesday, September 20, 2016 09/20/2016 Views: 509

Aya Cash, Janet Varney and Paul F. Tompkins wonder what burning questions Hillary Clinton has for the internet. (1:42)

It's time for tonight's#HashtagWars.

(cheering, applause, whistling)

Donald Trump is here all weekhijack sponsoring the show,

but in order to remainfair and balanced

as we plunge towardpolitical Armageddon,

we want to take aimat his opponent,

sociopathic soccer momHillary Clinton.

She's come under some firefor her use of e-mail,

but we want to knowhow she uses search engines.

What does Hillary Clinton Googlelate at night

when she triesto block out the sounds

of "bimbos being dicked"in the next room,

according to Colin Powell.

-That's why tonight's hashtagis... -(laughter)

ThingsHIllaryGoogles.ThingsHIllaryGoogles.

Examples might be:how to do Benghazi;

and: how to tell if husbandis at Hustler Club.

I'm gonna put 60 secondson the clock, and begin.

Paul F. Tompkins.

(loud monotone): How importantis voice modulation?

-(laughter)-Oh.

Points.

-Janet Varney.-To that end:

what human emotion is associatedwith seeing a puppy?

-Points.-(laughter)

Aya.

How do you acquirea poison-tipped cigar?

-Points. Points.-(laughter)

-Paul F. Tompkins.-How to get away with murder--

not the TV show.

-Points!-(laughter)

-Aya Cash. -Washington, DC,Sbarro locations.

-Points.-(laughter)

-Janet Varney.-Ann Taylor coupon emergency!

(laughter)

(whooping, applause)

Oh, points.

A.S.A.P.!

Paul F. Tompkins.

Do texts countas national security for me?

-Points.-(laughter)

-Aya Cash. -Where did EleanorRoosevelt keep her dildos?

-All right, points.-(audience groans)