Tell you whoa real knucklehead is, gang.
It's that Tom Brady,he's a football... person,
in case you don't followthe sports as closely as I do.
Well, they found out
he didn't have as much airin the footballs
as you're supposed to and...(giggles)
this did not make the peoplevery happy.
So, Mr. Brady wentin front of the media
and he-he--this is a real quote,
this is what he actually said,
He said, "Hey, everybody,
"it's not like this is ISIS.
And I'm like, well,
that's a brilliant thingto tell people, Tom Brady.
You can always make yourselflook better
when you compare yourself
to something totally unrelated
which is obviously worse.
That'd be the sameas if I got pulled over
by the police.
And like, "Do you knowhow fast you were going?"
And I'm like, "Yes, Officer,I was doing 90.
"But it's not like I'm cannibalserial killer Jeffrey Dahmer.
"I mean, I was a few minuteslate for my comedy show, sir,
"I wasn't poisoningand dismembering carcasses
"for my own consumption.
"You believe this clown?He's gonna write me a ticket.
"Heck, he's over there actinglike I was...
"drilling holesin people's skulls
and then pouringacid down there."