Joe Machi - Tom Brady's Defense

Joe Machi Season 5, Ep 3 09/02/2016 Views: 1,692

Joe Machi points out that Tom Brady's defense for cheating at football didn't make a whole lot of sense. (1:23)

Tell you whoa real knucklehead is, gang.

It's that Tom Brady,he's a football... person,

in case you don't followthe sports as closely as I do.

Well, they found out

he didn't have as much airin the footballs

as you're supposed to and...(giggles)

this did not make the peoplevery happy.

So, Mr. Brady wentin front of the media

and he-he--this is a real quote,

this is what he actually said,

He said, "Hey, everybody,

"it's not like this is ISIS.

Nobody died."

And I'm like, well,

that's a brilliant thingto tell people, Tom Brady.

You can always make yourselflook better

when you compare yourself

to something totally unrelated

which is obviously worse.

That'd be the sameas if I got pulled over

by the police.

And like, "Do you knowhow fast you were going?"

And I'm like, "Yes, Officer,I was doing 90.

"But it's not like I'm cannibalserial killer Jeffrey Dahmer.

"I mean, I was a few minuteslate for my comedy show, sir,

"I wasn't poisoningand dismembering carcasses

"for my own consumption.

"You believe this clown?He's gonna write me a ticket.

"Heck, he's over there actinglike I was...

"drilling holesin people's skulls

and then pouringacid down there."