Maz Jobrani - Iranian Test

  • Season 1 , Ep 106
  • 11/10/2011
  • Views: 25,623

Maz Jobrani believes that most people don't know the difference between people from the Middle East. (2:41)

Who's heard of the Axis of EvilComedy Tour?

A few of you.

For those of you who've not,for those of you

who've not heard ofthe Axis of Evil Comedy Tour,

it was likethe Blue Collar Comedy Tour,

but with Middle Easterncomedians.

Yeah. So, like, they say,"Get 'er done,"

we'd say,"Get it done, my friend."

That's it.

Two hours of that.

"Get it done, my friend!"

So, uh, I was,I was born in Iran.

Thank you. Calm down.

No, that's cool, that's cool.

Whatever, Arizona.

Sure.

No-- thank you, band.

Thank you, Ozomatli.

No, I'll tell you,I'll tell you.

It's funny 'cause some peopledon't know how to tell

the difference betweenIranian or Indian or Arab.

And here's the thing.If you want to test to see

if it's Iranian,have them say a word

that has two consonantsback to back.

My people can't dotwo consonants back to back.

He knows an Iranian.

He's laughing over there, yeah.

I swear, like, the name Steve,we say, "e-Steve."

You see, an "E" comesout of nowhere.

I don't know where it came from.

"Drink"-- we say "derink."

"Traffic"-- "terrafic!"

The best word, if you want totest to see if it's an Iranian,

have them say the word"gangster."

"Gangster" has four consonantsin the middle.

Takes us an hour to say"gangster."

"Gangster" becomes"gangester...!"

It's like you're stretching.

"Feel the gangester!

"In your legs.

But I'll tell you what,what's crazy is, all this stuff,

there's a lot of discriminationthat's still going on

against Middle Easternersand Muslims in America,

and it happens.

There was an airline

with a Muslim familywalking down the aisle,

talking about the safest placeto sit on the plane.

Some passengers overheard them,somehow misconstrued that

as terrorist talk,got them kicked off the plane.

My advice toall my brown people,

the next timeyou're on an airplane,

just speak your mother tongue.

That way, nobody knows whatyou're saying, life goes on.

Now, granted,some mother tongues

might sounda little threatening, right?

To my Arab brothersand sisters out there,

if you're walking down the aislespeaking Arabic, you know...

(imitating Arabic speech)

...gonna freak some people out.

So, if you have Arab friends,let them know,

they got to throw in random goodwords into their conversation

to put people at ease.

Just as they're walkingdown the aisle, just...

(imitating Arabic speech)

...strawberry!

(imitating Arabic speech)

...rainbow!

(imitating Arabic speech)

...Tutti Frutti!

They'll be like, "I thinkhe's gonna hijack the plane

with some ice cream."

That's my time.Thank you very much, guys.

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