Sebastian Maniscalco - Text Messaging

  • Season 12 , Ep 4
  • 01/17/2008
  • Views: 11,059

There are rules to text messaging. (2:49)

GOIN' ON VACATIONS TOGETHER,GO TO VEGAS.

YOU THINK YOU'RE INA GREAT RELATIONSHIP?

GO TO VEGAS.TEST IT OUT IN THAT TOWN.

SUMPIN' ABOUT VEGASBRINGS OUT THE WORST IN PEOPLE.

WENT TO VEGAS.SHE WAS ARGUING WITH MERIGHT FROM THE GET-GO.

WENT TO GO GRAB HER HANDIN THE CASINO.

I GAVE HER A LITTLESTATIC ELECTRICITY.

SHE'S LIKE--"PICK YOUR FEET UP."

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT DO YOUWANT ME TO DO, FLOAT?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

WE WENT TO THE LOUNGE, RIGHT,I JUST GRAZED HER BUTT,

YOU KNOW, A LITTLE [Whistles]WE'RE DATIN' TYPE OF THING,

AND AGAIN, "DON'T TOUCH MY ASSWHILE WE'RE OUT IN PUBLIC."

YOU WERE [BLEEP] MY NUTSTHE FIRST NIGHT WE MET.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

YOU [BLEEP] NUTS?YOU [BLEEP] NUTS?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

BUT THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS, RIGHT?TEXT MESSAGING STARTS, RIGHT?

I HAD NO IDEAI HAD TEXT MESSAGING.

GET IN A FIGHT WITH YOUR GIRL,

YOU'LL FIND OUT WHATTEXT MESSAGING IS ALL ABOUT.

WE HAD AN ARGUMENT. I LEFT.

A LITTLE ENVELOPECAME UP ON MY SCREEN.

- I'M LIKE, "WHAT IS THIS?"- [LAUGHTER]

IT WAS A MESSAGE FROM HER.I READ IT. IT'S LIKE,

- "WHY HAVE YOU CHANGED?"- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND I DIDN'T KNOW THEREWAS RULES TO TEXT MESSAGING.

I CALLED HER BACK.I'M LIKE, "WHAT'S GOIN' ON?"

SHE'S LIKE,"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

WE'RE NOT READY FOR THIS.HANG UP AND TEXT ME BACK."

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS,WHISTLES AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S NUTS. I'M NOT GOOD.I'M NOT GOOD WITH THE THUMB.

THERE'S A THING ON HERETHAT WILL HELP YOU, THOUGH.

IT'S CALLED T-9 WORD, RIGHT?

THIS WILL ACTUALLY GUESSWHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY.

DON'T USE THIS DRUNK.DON'T COME HOME HORNY, DRUNK,

YOU WANNA TEXT YOUR GIRLA SEXY MESSAGE.

LOOK WHAT YOU'RE TYPINGBEFORE YOU SEND IT.

I DIDN'T LOOK.I JUST SENT IT OFF.

SHE CALLED ME RIGHT BACK.SHE'S LIKE,

"UH, WHAT DO YOU MEANYOU WANNA KICK MY PUPPY?"

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