Tracy Morgan - Airport Security

Tracy Morgan: One Mic Season 1, Ep 101 08/26/2002 Views: 10,070

In order for his kids to get a real education, Tracy Morgan takes them to the airport to watch the new profiling process. (1:57)

because, you know

what happened-- had justhappened and it's just...

everybody's profiled now.

That's right.Shake 'em all down.

Everybody get shook down.

And it amused me to seeall white businessmen

angry as hell in the airport.

They couldn't believethat they...

You seen the guys withthe A-K's-- they kick your bag.

"Now, open this up, man.

"Go ahead and open it upfor 'em.

"You want to get shot?

Open the bag, man!"

White people's like,"This is preposterous!

"I can't believe this!

"Freakin', I can't believe this.

"I can't believe this.

"I really can't believe this.

"What is your name?

What's your badge name?"

That was amusing, man.

Me and my man, Supreme

we don't even betraveling nowhere.

We just go to the airportand watch.

Take the kids out of school

so they can geta real education.

That's how we used to be.

And we don't like that, boy.

We don't like...When we go to the airport

you ever see a brotherand sister face

when we go through the metaldetector and it go off?

We got that one look.

( laughter )

I watch everybodyon the plane.

That's what you get.

Don't worry about Bobby Brownand Whitney Houston.

Remember when Whitney got caughtwith that marijuana?

That was a ploy, because Bobbywas bringing two keys

at the other gate.

"Just check this over there.

"Check it over there.

"If they touch you,just run to the plane.

I'm gonna be over here."

That's right--profile everything.

Being in the airport,worrying about me

getting two bags of smokeon the plane.

"Check him!

"This is a five-hour flight.

He ain't got no luggage.Where he going?!"

( laughter and applause )