RETURN JULY 2014
They sayblack makes you look thinner.
Ladies know that secret, right,black makes you look thinner?
I think it's true 'causeI always see fat white women
with black boyfriends.
Maybe not in Arizona, but, uh...
I-I... so I've been married21 years.
(cheering and applause)
Three wives, three wives, but...
Every year countstowards the pension, man.
I just hit the ten-year markwith my wife, man,
and we hada little anniversary weekend.
She pulled a new one on me.
She said, "Let's role-play."
I've never done anything kinkylike this.
I said, "What do you mean,role-play?"
She said, "You tell mewhat you want me to be
and I'll tell youwhat I want you to be."
Now, I thought it was a trap.
I was like, "Baby, I like youjust the way you are."
She got mad, she was like,"Stop being a punk."
So she convinced me.
I said, "All right."
I've spent three weekendsa month on the road in hotels.
I'm a traveling man.
Every traveling man's fantasyis what?
I said, "Baby, I want youto be housekeeping.
Knock on the door, come in,and surprise me."
She liked that one, so I said,"What you want me to be?"
She goes, "A black guy."
You're lucky I don't thinkI'm R. Kelly right now."
I got a trophy wife, too, man,I got a trophy wife.
I know that's not right to say'cause everybody--
if you're married,that's your trophy,
but I'm, I'm just saying
not everybody gota first-place trophy.
Some people end upwith a plaque.
You marrythe neighborhood hoochie,
you get a participation ribbon.