Shaun Majumder - Impostor Boobs

Season 6 , Ep 602 12/21/02 Views: 3,097

You can still be a woman with small boobies. (3:15)

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA,

IT HAS COME TO ATTENTION,

ARE FRAUDULENT.

SOME OF THE BOOBIES ARE IMPOSTOR

BOOBIES.

BOOBIES THAT CAN'T BE TRUSTED.

OKAY, GIRLS, I DON'T UNDERSTAND

WHAT THE OBSESSION IS WITH THESE

GINORMOUS PROTRUDING MELONES--

GIRLS, I'M NO DR. PHIL, BUT YOU

DO NOT NEED HUGE, LIKE TO MAKE

YOURSELVES MORE OF A WOMAN--

WHAT IS WITH--

LOOK, YOU HAVE OTHER THINGS!

LOOK, YOU CAN HAVE SMALL

BOOBIES.

YOU'RE STILL A WOMAN.

YOU COULD BE FLAT,

YOU'RE STILL-- YOU COULD--

OKAY.

IF YOU'RE CONCAVE, THAT'S A BIT

WEIRD, I'D PROBABLY I PROBABLY

WOULD GET IT FIXED.

IF YOU'RE LYING ON YOUR BACK AT

PARTIES AND PEOPLE ARE EATING

M&M'S OUT OF YOUR BOOBIES,

THAT'S--

WHAT THE...

IF YOU'RE BEING PASSED AROUND

CHURCH AND PEOPLE ARE TOSSING

COINS IN YOUR BOOBIES FOR JESUS,

I DON'T KNOW, THAT'S NOT...

IF A SMALL JAMAICA IS PLAYING

HITS OF THE CARIBBEAN ON YOUR

BOOBIES...

THEN I'D GET IT FIXED.

(APPLAUSE)

LOS ANGELES IS VERY DIFFERENT.

ME AND MY FATHER WENT TO A

FETISH PARTY LAST WEEK.

IT WAS AWESOME.

WHATEVER, IT WAS FATHER/SON

FETISH NIGHT DOWN AT THE LEGION.

WE HAD A LITTLE TIME BEFORE

YOGA, SO WE'RE LIKE HEY.

WHATEVER.

IT WAS AN AWESOME PARTY,

AND THIS WOMAN WAS HITTING ME

WITH A PADDLE AND SHE WAS LIKE,

"WHO'S YOUR DADDY, WHO'S YOUR

DADDY?"

I WAS LIKE--

THAT GUY RIGHT OVER THERE.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

THAT GUY IN THE STIRRUPS

AND LEATHER SKI MASK.

TEN MINUTES, DAD, WE'LL JET.

ALL RIGHT.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

YOU GUYS ARE A WONDERFUL CROWD.

CANADA LOVES NEW YORK, I'LL TELL

YOU THAT.

BUT I'LL TELL YOU THIS, THOUGH,

I'M REALLY-- I WANT SOMETHING

TO HAPPEN, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF

IT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

I REALLY HOPE THEY FINALLY, IN

THE NEXT TEN YEARS OR WHATEVER,

FINALLY GET PHONE SEX FOR WHITE

TRASH TRAILER PARK WOMEN.

WHY IS IT NOT OUT THERE NOW?

I THINK IT WOULD BE FANTASTIC.

(PHONE RINGS)

"HEY, LADIES, HOW'S IT GOING?

THIS HERE'S GUS.

I'M REALLY GLAD YOU'S CALLED.

I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY TIRED OUT

FROM HANGING AROUND THE TRAILER

AND EATING CHEESIES AND WATCHING

"SPRINGER".

BUT I'M HERE NOW TO MAKE YOU

FEEL GOOD.

SO YOU JUST LIE BACK ON THAT AIR

MATTRESS OF YOURS AND KICK OFF

THOSE CIGARETTE STAINED SLIPPERS

AND GET LOST IN GUS'S SOOTHING

VOICE.

(HACKS PHLEGM)

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

I MOVE IN SLOWLY AND I TAKE YOUR

FACE AND I KISS YOU ON THE

MOUTH.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THE

TASTE OF SMOKE, BOOZE, AND

VICKS VAPOR RUB.

WHAT'S THAT, HONEY, YOU WANT

THE LIGHTS OUT?

OKAY, HANG ON.

HA-HA!

GET IT?

LISTEN, YOU GUYS ROCK 'N ROLL

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