Guantanamove Bitch! - Lush Landscapes and Lack of Due Process

Tuesday, June 28, 2016 06/28/2016 Views: 137

Jade Catta-Preta, Paul Scheer and Jensen Karp take on the role of Ludacris's hype man to get the crowd psyched for the rapper's performance at Guantanamo Bay. (1:13)

First up--Guantanamove Bitch!


Guantanamo Bay isa tropical destination

known for its beaches,lush landscapes,

and lack of due process.

And this Fourth of July,they're getting Ludacris,

who will be performingat Gitmo's...

-(laughter) -Ludacris isperforming at this year's

freedom festival,which won the award

for most ironically-namedfestival, uh,

-at Guantanamo Bay.-(laughter)

This is the perfect wayfor organizers to raise morale

and also determineif Ludacris should be

on their terror watch list,all in one go.

I'm sure it'll be great.He's great.

So, comedians,as Luda's hype man,

get the Gitmo crowd all riled upfor his show. Paul.

Yo, give it up for an artistwho thought

he was performing at Bonnaroo!Ludacris!

HARDWICK:All right, points.

(applause and cheering)


Yo, yo, it's gonna getso hot in here,

you're gonna wantto get water-boarded!

-All right. Points.-(cheers and applause)


(rapping): ♪ I wantto kick, kick, kick, kick you ♪

♪ Till your head explodes,and I want to ♪

♪ Water-board youtill you can't talk no more ♪

♪ And I want to move your bedtill you sleep on the floor... ♪

And when the government comes,we're gonna

-pretend none of this happened.-All right, points.