-I live-- I liveon the East Coast.
I live in New York.
I moved like a yearago to New York.
I live in Chinatown, Manhattan.
I live in Chinatown becausethat's where I got assigned.
Some of you guys laughed.
Some of you guys were like,yeah, that makes sense.
It's a great neighborhood,Chinatown, a lot of good food,
fresh produce, low prices.
There's a bakery on my block.
There's a bakerycalled Nice One.
Mhm, Nice One Bakery.
Because sometimes it's hard totell where broken English ends
and where New Yorksarcasm kicks in.
There's a restaurant inChinatown called Sheng
Wang, spelledexactly like my name.
And all my friends insistthat I have to go eat there.
And secretly, I agree.
But I don't know why.
I don't know what I'm expecting.
I don't know what'ssupposed to happen.
I don't know what kind offantasy is supposed to pan out.
Like I walk in there.
And the whole staff,they all lose their shit.
They're like, oh, snap.
Man, we've been waiting for you.
The prophecy has begun.
And I look around.
There's like babypictures of me everywhere.
Now, when I moved toNew York, I realized
I have an irrationalfear of rats.
I didn't know there was somuch wildlife in the city.
That shit is crazy.
One night I waswalking home real late.
I walked past thishuge pile of garbage.
And inside of oneparticular trash bag,
there was a whole lotof movement going on.
You know what I mean?
Like inside the bag, realaggressive but unidentifiable
And it was scary.
I was so frightened, my onlythought was, oh, my god.
I hope that's a baby.
That's how much I hate rats.
They make child endangermentfeel kind of good.