Sheng Wang - Nice One Bakery

South Beach Comedy Festival 2011 Season 1, Ep 5 03/30/2011 Views: 5,656

Sometimes it's hard to tell where broken English ends and New York sarcasm begins. (1:56)

[music playing]

-I live-- I liveon the East Coast.

I live in New York.

I moved like a yearago to New York.


I live in Chinatown, Manhattan.

I live in Chinatown becausethat's where I got assigned.

Some of you guys laughed.

Some of you guys were like,yeah, that makes sense.

It's a great neighborhood,Chinatown, a lot of good food,

fresh produce, low prices.

There's a bakery on my block.

There's a bakerycalled Nice One.

Mhm, Nice One Bakery.

Because sometimes it's hard totell where broken English ends

and where New Yorksarcasm kicks in.

There's a restaurant inChinatown called Sheng

Wang, spelledexactly like my name.

And all my friends insistthat I have to go eat there.

And secretly, I agree.

But I don't know why.

I don't know what I'm expecting.

I don't know what'ssupposed to happen.

I don't know what kind offantasy is supposed to pan out.

Like I walk in there.

And the whole staff,they all lose their shit.

They're like, oh, snap.

It's him.

Man, we've been waiting for you.

The prophecy has begun.

And I look around.

There's like babypictures of me everywhere.

Now, when I moved toNew York, I realized

I have an irrationalfear of rats.

I didn't know there was somuch wildlife in the city.

That shit is crazy.

One night I waswalking home real late.

I walked past thishuge pile of garbage.

And inside of oneparticular trash bag,

there was a whole lotof movement going on.

You know what I mean?

Like inside the bag, realaggressive but unidentifiable


And it was scary.

I was so frightened, my onlythought was, oh, my god.

I hope that's a baby.

That's how much I hate rats.

They make child endangermentfeel kind of good.