Rondell Sheridan - Newlyweds

Lounge Lizards: Rondell Sheridan Season 1, Ep 0102 07/17/2002 Views: 1,790

Men are not as complicated as women think. (1:56)

Man, people here, coming to

Vegas, getting married, start a

new relationship, man.

Yeah.

I think... new people?

You got married?

Congratulations.

That's wonderful.

That really is.

Few married people?

Yeah.

I think the moment you get into

a relationship... I think the

moment you're in a relationship

you should be supplied with your

own court stenographer.

( laughter )

You know that person that sits

in a courtroom and types down

every word that is said?

How many of you in your

relationship have ever had to

say to your mate, "I did not say

that!"

( laughter )

"No, you thought I said that."

Wouldn't you love to be able to

go, "Mrs. Johnson, could you

read the minutes back of

yesterday, please?"

( laughter )

See, all the newlywed guys, guys

who just got married, all the

newlywed men, you haven't

learned yet.

All newlywed men have one thing

in common.

All newlywed men have to be

home.

I called my buddy up at work.

He'd been married two and a half

weeks.

I go, "Hey, man, what are you

doing after work?

You want to go shoot some pool,

maybe get some drinks?"

( laughter )

"No, I'd like to, but I've got

to be home."

( laughter )

I'm like, "What's going on at

home?"

"I don't know.

I just know I've got to be

there."

And women, women, you never

learn.

You never remember things.

Women always ask men the most

annoying question to ask a guy.

Any guy.

Guy, I'll paint the pictures for

you.

You've been sitting on the couch

together for a couple hours

watching TV, and you notice for

the last couple of minutes she's

been looking at you like this.

And she says, "Honey, what are

you thinking?"

And what do we say, guys?

>> MEN IN AUDIENCE: "Nothing."

>> "Not a ( bleep ) thing."

( laughter )

There's nothing going on up

here!

Women, you think we're

complicated.

We're not.

We're just a penis and two eyes.

That's all we are!

( cheers and applause )