I totally understandwhy Fifty Shades of Gray
is so popular.
I get it, because as we womengain more power and money
and controlin this society,
the more we just wantto be dominated in bed.
It's very hot to usto just be dominated in bed.
So when we ask youto spank us,
do not do this.
"Oh, are you okay?Are you all right?
You know I respect you,right?"
Yes, I know you respect me,okay?
That's why you needto abuse me.
Because it's the moststrong-headed
loudmouth women who like to beabused the most in bed.
Especially womenwith glasses.
We're always downfor some--
You know, it's becausewe're so in control all the time
that we just want to experiencesome sort of risk.
You know? Like--
Like, just,I don't want to die,
but I also don't want to be surethat I'm going to live.
I just don't want to be the bossall the time.
I'm tiredof being the boss.
I'm a bossy person.
So you--You be the boss, okay?
Just-- Just choke me enoughso that I can't talk.
Because if I can talk,
I'm going to tell youwhat to do.
I, uh, I once hooked upwith a man
who refused to put itin the back.
Yeah. Men are sissies.
He refused to put itin the back.
I was like, "Hey,you're an idiot, dude.
"Do you realize that if I wenton Craigslist
"and posted 'Tiny Asian femaleseeking anal'
the Internet would crash."