Eric Krug - College Boy

Season 4 , Ep 0407 12/04/09 Views: 1,815

The best way to intimidate someone is with compliments. (2:10)

I feel, like, uh,I feel like it's good for us

to get to know each other.Uh, I'll start.

Um, my favorite color is green.

Uh, I wet the bed most nights...

with my eyes.


I believe that everything I needto know about life,

I learned from my parents.

And by that,I mean I'm divorced.

It's cool, though. I don't, uh,

I don't reallylet it get me down.

I know there'll be others.

Double entendre, uh...

It's all waterunder the bridge now.

Everything's good.You know, she's actually, uh,

she's been seeing this guyfor about two years now.

He's a really good guy.We get along very well.

Although, I do remember therewas tension, like,

at the beginning,'cause I'm the ex-husband.

But, uh, you know,I try to do my best,

like, break the ice with him.

I joke around with himlike I do all my friends.

Like when he goes to kiss her,I'm like,

"Hey, my (bleep) been in there."


I'm glad you guys laughed.

He didn't get the joke at all.

I really like that "college boy"

is an insult.

You guys remember that...that insult?

That classic insult from 1932?

The old "college boy, eh?"

I love that.

I love that, uh, 'cause if a guycome at you with a big word

that you can't understand,you can retaliate with that.

"College boy, eh?"

You know, and I got to hear itfor real, like, used,

and, like, two drunkieswere going at it and I got

to hear somebody use it;it made me giddy,

because that's, like,my favorite insult.

'Cause I love the idea thatyou're going to try

to intimidate somebodywith compliments, you know?

Just gonna get in their faceand be like,

"You listen here,you scholarly SOB.

"I'm gonna knock out every oneof your shiny, white teeth.

"Knock them right outof your minty fresh mouth.

"By the timeI get done with you,

"you're going to beall dirty and disheveled.

"But you know what? I bet you'rethe kind of guy to pull it off

"in that scruffy but still sexykind of way.

"Let me tell you somethingabout your mother.

She was a kind, pure womanwho saved herself

"until marriage.

"Unless she's already passed on,

in which caseI'm sorry for your loss."