ULTIMATE SKETCH ARCHIVE
- GMAIL IS WHAT I'M ON NOW.
THAT'S THE, UH--OKAY, YOU GOTTHE MOST SPACE FOR ATTACHMENTS.
ANYWAY...- THANK YOU.
- FEEL FREE TO HIT ME UPIF YOU REMEMBER THAT NUMBER.
I NOTICED YOU AIN'TWRITE THAT DOWN.
DAMN, DAMN, DAMN.THAT GIRL WAS FLY, RIGHT?
- [scoffs] SHE ALL RIGHT.
BUT DID YOU SEETHAT LIAM NEESONS MOVIE
WITH THEM WOLVES, THOUGH?
- THE ONE WITH THEM BIG-ASSWOLVES AND LIAM NEESONS IN IT?
- MAN, LIAM NEESONSIS MY [bleep]!
- OH, LIAM NEESONS STRAIGHTJACKED UP THEM WOLVES, MAN.
- MAN, HE [bleep]THEM WOLVES UP, MAN.
- YEAH.- SHOOT, MAN.
HEY, AND DON'T EVEN GET MESTARTED ON THAT ONE
WHERE THEY TOOKHIS DAUGHTER.
- [scoffs] "STRAIGHT TOOKEN,"STARRING LIAM NEESONS!
- MAN, LIAM NEESONSON THE PHONE LIKE,
"I HAVE A CERTAINSET OF SKILLS."
MAN, DON'T [bleep]WITH LIAM NEESONS!
- NO, DON'T EVEN TRY ANDBE RUSSIAN AROUND LIAM NEESONS.
HE'LL TAKE YOUR ARM AND...- [screams]
- PUT SOME FRACTURES UP IN THAT.- THEY KILLING HIM, MAN.
AND THEN--OH, YOU SEETHE SECOND ONE, THOUGH?
IN THE SECOND ONE,THE RUSSIANS COME AFTER HIM
AND HE [bleep] THEMALL UP ANYWAY.
- "TAKEN 2," STARRINGTHE INCOMPARABLE LIAM NEESONS.
- MM-HM. MM-HM.- THAT'S MY [bleep].
- WHAT ABOUT DARKMAN, THOUGH?- NO.
- WHAT ABOUT LIAM NEESONSIN SOME DARKMAN, THOUGH?
WHAT ABOUT DARKMAN, THOUGH?
- WHEN LIAM NEESONS' FACEWAS CHANGING UP, MAN?
- HOMIE WAS STRAIGHTFACE-CHANGING.
NOW THAT'S JUST LIAM NEESONSACTING RIGHT THERE, MAN.
- STRAIGHT UP, I KID YOU NOT.ACADEMY-AWARD CALIBER.
CLASSIC NEESONS.- MAN, COME ON, SERIOUSLY.
I MEAN, LIKE, NEESONSALREADY NEED TO HAVE A STATUE.
- LIAM NEESONS AIN'T GOT NO--- HE AIN'T GOT NO STATUE.
- HE--- HE AIN'T GOT A STATUE.
HE AIN'T GOT A STATUE.
- NO. NO. NO. NO.
THE OSCAR GOESTO LIAM NEESONS, DARKMAN.
[bleep] FACE WAS CHANGING!- MM-HM. WORD.
- HOW HARD IS THAT?- IT AIN'T HARD.
IT'S NOT HARD AT ALL.- DAMN!
- IT'S STUPID.- OH! OH! BATTLESHIP.
- OOOH!
- BATTLESHIP.
- OOOH!
- BATTLESHIP!
- OOOOH!
OOOOH!- BATTLESHIP!
- OOOOH! WHOO!
- LIAM NEESONS STRAIGHTKILLED A ROBOT BOAT!
- LIAM NEESONS IS MY SHIZNIT!- WHOO!
- BUT YOU KNOW WHO I LIKEAS MUCH AS NEESONS, THOUGH?
- [scoffs] AS MUCH AS NEESONS?- MM-HM.
- WHO?
- BRUCE WILLY.
- [screams]
[screaming continues]
BRUCE WILLY IS MY SHIT!
- BUT WHAT IFTHEY MADE A MOVIE
WITH LIAM NEESONSAND BRUCE WILLY?
[grunting]
- NEESONS AND WILLY?
- WILLY AND NEESONS.- HARDER MAN. HARDER!
- [grunting]
- [choking]THAT WOULD BE...
both: MY [bleep]!
[boom]
[laughter]