Doug Benson - Sexual Harassment

  • Season 13 , Ep 2
  • 01/11/2009
  • Views: 56,458

Doug Benson can't wait to try out what he learned at the sexual harassment seminar. (2:21)

I SAW A DOG IN A CAGE,

AND THE CAGE HAD A SIGN ON ITTHAT SAID, "I BITE."

[ LAUGHTER ]

HANG ON, THERE'S MORE.

AND I WAS LIKE, "THAT IS GOODTO KNOW, DOGGIE.

"BUT THAT'S NOT THE MOSTIMPORTANT THING ABOUT YOU.

YOU SHOULD MAKE A SIGNTHAT SAYS, 'I MAKE SIGNS.'"

[ APPLAUSE ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

YEAH!

I WENT TO A SEXUAL-HARASSMENTSEMINAR RECENTLY.

YEAH, SO NOW I THINKI'M GONNA BE PRETTY GOOD AT IT.

I'M EXCITED.

I CAN'T WAIT TO TRY OUTWHAT I LEARNED.

NICE BOOBS OVER THERE...

SIR.

THOSE ARE SOME AMAZING,AMAZING MAN BOOBS.

DO YOU GUYS THINK

THAT "TODAY" SHOW WEATHERMANAL ROKER,

WHEN HE'S MAKING SWEET LOVETO HIS LADY --

YEAH, I KNOW,DON'T PICTURE IT --

DO YOU THINK HE EVERLOOKS HER IN THE EYES AND SAYS,

"NOW LET'S SEE WHAT'S GOING ONIN YOUR NECK OF THE WOODS."

[ LAUGHTER ]

I DO.

I THINK HE DO.

I LIKE TO LEAVE MY SOCKS ONDURING SEX.

WHAT -- WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL?

IT'S JUST ME ALONEAT THE COMPUTER.

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKEIF I LEAVE MY SOCKS ON?

MY TOOTSIES GET COLD.

IT'S CHILLYIN MY PARENTS' BASEMENT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS A TREAT,BESIDES SEX WITH ME?

[ LAUGHTER ]

COOKIES MADE BY FAMOUS AMOS.

HAVE YOU HAD THOSEFAMOUS AMOS COOKIES?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]OH, MY GOD!

THEY'RE DELICIOUS!THEY'RE SO DELICIOUS!

I LOVE 'EM!THEY'RE DELICIOUS!

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID,

WE COULDN'T AFFORDFAMOUS AMOS COOKIES.

WE HAD TO EATTHE KNOCKOFF BRAND.

YEAH, WE HAD TO EAT COOKIESMADE BY HEINOUS ANUS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YEAH.

THOSE ARE SOME [BLEEP] COOKIES.

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