JB Smoove - Bad Fight Luck

  • Season 1 , Ep 3
  • 07/18/2010
  • Views: 25,362

If you are being choked and your attacker exposes his teeth -- he is trying to kill you. (4:40)

YO! YO! GIVE IT UPFOR MY DJ.

DJ CASSIDY!

[cheers and applause]

YO!

CASSIDY, YOUARE DOIN' IT, BABY.

- THANK YOU, SIR.- I LOVE WHAT YOU GOT ON.

GIVE A HAND FOR THE HAT.

YOU ARE DOIN' IT, BABY.

LET ME TELL YOU'BOUT MYSELF RIGHT NOW.

I'M GONNA TELL YOUA LITTLE THING ABOUT ME

BEFORE WE EVEN START IT.

I AM NOT A FIGHTER.I CAN'T FIGHT.

I ACT LIKE A TOUGH GUY,

BUT I'M NOT A FIGHTER.

FIGHTING IS NOT MY FORTE.

KNOW WHAT MY FORTE IS?PRESSING CHARGES!

THAT'S MY FORTE!

BOY, YOU HIT ME,THE GAME IS OVER!

[hums ominous music]

YO' ASS GOING TO JAIL!

I'M--I'M FROM A NATURAL LINEOF TRASH TALKERS.

MY GRANDMA TALKED TRASH.WE ALL TALKED TRASH.

I'M IN A CLUBTHE OTHER NIGHT, MAN,

GETTIN' MY GROOVE ON.

THIS DUDE KNOCKED MY DRINKOUT OF MY HAND.

HEY, PLAYA, GOD DAMN!

JUST SPILLEDMY GODDAMN DRINK!

HERE'S WHATYOU'RE GONNA DO.

I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR ASSTO THE BAR,

YOU GONNA GO IN YOUR POCKET,

YOU GONNA TAKE OUTSOME MONEY,

AND YOU GONNA BUY ME ANOTHERGODDAMN DRINK!

GET OUT MY FACE!

GET MY GODDAMN DRINK.

HELLO?

YOU CRAZY, MAN?

YOU JUST PUNCHEDMY GODDAMN NOSE!

YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL!

YOU ARE GOING--THIS BROTHER CHOKING ME.

DOES ANYBODY KNOW THIS DUDE?

DOES ANYBODYKNOW THIS DUDE?

YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL!

OH, I'M BLACKING OUT.

I SAW YOUR FACE!

I SAW YOUR DAMN FACE.

THEY'RE GONNA DRAW A SKETCHOF YOUR ASS.

WHEN SOMEBODY GRAB YOUTHAT DAMN FAST,

IT'S LIKE THEY SHOT YOU--LIKE THEY SHOT YOUR ASS.

SOMEBODY GRAB A HOLDOF YOUR ASS, I SWEAR TO GOD,

LIKE HE SHOT MEIN THE DAMN NECK.

"I GOT YOU, MAN.

RUNNING YOUR DAMN MOUTHSO DAMN MUCH."

YOU CAN TELL WHEN SOMEBODYTRYING TO KILL YOU TOO.

WHEN YOU SEE TEETHWHEN THEY'RE CHOKING YOUR ASS--

WHEN SOMEBODY CHOKING YOUR ASS,IF YOU SEE THEIR DAMN TEETH,

THEY ARE TRYINGTO KILL YOUR ASS!

TEETH MEAN DEATH!

"YOU TALKING TRASH?WHAT YOU WANNA DO, BROTHER, HUH?

"HUH? HUH?

"HUH? HUH?

"HUH?

"HUH?

[shrilly] "HUH?

"HUH?

"HUH?

"HUH?

NOW WHAT, HUH?"

DEATH, RIGHT HERE.DEATH IN THE FACE.

YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHTAND GO GET HELP AND COME BACK,

AND STILL GETYOUR ASS WHOOPED?

WHAT YOU WANNA DO, BROTHER?

YOU HITTHE WRONG BROTHER NOW.

YOU DONE JACKED UP NOW.YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

YOU ABOUT TO GET JUMPED.

YOU ABOUT TO GET JUMPED!GET BEHIND HIS ASS.

GET BEHIND HIM.GET BEHIND HIS ASS.

GET BEHIND HIS ASS.GET BEHIND HIM, GOD DAMN!

AIN'T YOU EVERJUMPED SOMEBODY BEFORE?

THIS DUDE NEVER JUMPED NOBOD--

YOU BUST MY NOSE!

YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL!

OH, HELL, NO.HE IS CHOKING ME.

DO SOMETHING!

GO GET MY OTHER BROTHER.

YOU AIN'T WORTH A DAMN!

OH, I'M BLACKING OUT.UH-OH.

I SAW YOUR FACE.

THEY'RE GONNA DRAW A SKETCHOF YOUR ASS.

YOU GOING TO JAIL!

I GOT BAD FIGHT LUCK.

I COULD BE WATCHING THE FIGHTAND GET INVOLVED IN THE FIGHT.

TWO DUDES THAT HAVETHEIR OWN RESERVATIONS.

THEY KNEW THIS FIGHTWAS GOING DOWN TONIGHT.

I'M IN A CROWD,WATCHING THE FIGHT,

AND SOMEHOW, I GET INVOLVEDIN THE DAMN FIGHT.

THESE DUDES IS THROWING DOWN.

BOY, WHAT?DAMN, BEAT YOUR ASS.

BOY.

[thumping microphone]

I'M IN THE CROWD.HA HA HA HA!

BOY KICKIN' HIS ASS!

AAH HA!

UHH, UHH, OOH!

HA HA!

THEY WILL STOP FIGHTING.

"AH, WAIT A MINUTE.WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

"WAIT A MINUTE.WAIT A MINUTE.

"WAIT A MINUTE.

"WAIT A MINUTE.

"WAIT A MINUTE.

"WAIT A MINUTE.

I JUST SAID WAIT A MINUTE."

"WHAT THE HELLYOU LAUGHING AT?"

WHO, ME?

EVERYBODY'S LAUGHING.EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING!

I AIN'T THE ONLY ONELAUGHING!

EVERYBODY'S TRYINGTO HAVE A GOOD TIME.

WHY YOU GOTTA PICK MEOUT OF THE CROWD?

EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING!

SHE WAS LAUGHING.WASN'T YOU LAUGHING?

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

YOU WAS TOO LAUGHING.

EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING!

EVERYBODY HAVINGA GOOD TIME!

WHY YOU GOT TO PICK MEOUT OF THE CROWD?

OH, I'M BLACKING OUT.

I'M BLACKING OUT.

I SAW YOUR FACE!

I SAW YOUR DAMN FACE.

YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL!

THEY GONNA DO A SKETCHOF YOUR ASS.

YOU GONNA BEON BREAKING NEWS.

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