Make-A-Wish

  • Season 1 , Ep 8
  • 06/18/2013
  • Views: 21,066

A dying boy's last wish is for Amy to roast him in his hospital bed, which makes Amy a little uncomfortable. (3:07)

Oh, no, it's an honor.

I can't believeI'm someone's Make-A-Wish.

His name's Jason.

He's nine, he's gonna die,like, yesterday.

Oh, my God.

You'll be fine.

( monitor beeping )

Hi, hi!Hi, hi.Hello.

Welcome.

He's, uh,right over there.Okay.

Hey, Jason, I'm Amy.

Um, I broughtthis for you.

Oh...

Your headshot.

Okay.

Uh... I just want youto know that you're--

you're really special

and, um...

and everything'sgonna be fine.

( monitor beeping )

Well, I'm realizingthat I bit off

a little bit morethan I could chew.

It was an honormeeting you.

Oh, whoa, where-- wheredo you think you're going?

I was gonna goget my car.

Don't you knowwhy you're here?

I thought I wasjust supposed

to comeand meet-- meet Jason.

Did I do somethingwrong?

Roast me.

Roast you?

It was our son'slast wish

to be roasted bya professional comedian.

Okay.

Yeah, I don't feelcomfortable

making fun of your son.

You think I givea bitch queef

what you arecomfortable with?!

Okay.

Okay, okay.

Okay.

Um...

Nice bed--

Why don't you get some moretubes in your nose, weirdo?

( nervously chuckling )Is that even a joke?

Okay, uh...

Where's the restof your hair?

Is it, uh,at the hair parade...Oh, God.

.. where there'sno hair?

Enough withthe softballs, please.

Okay.

This is really hard.

Hey-hey, hey,little man.Hi.

How ya feelin'?

Terrible.

Well, at least you feelthe way you look.

( laughing )

Am I right,am I right?

Nah, I'm just jokin',I'm just jokin'.

You're dark and handsome.

If it's dark...you're handsome.

( laughing )

Okay, I gotta go,I gotta go.( whispering )That's good.

( laughing )

LOL.

( man )Oh, he's good.Amy, take notes.

Those-- those werehack one-liners

from the Internet.

What?The Internet.

You know, the thing youwon't be on in three weeks.

Wow, Amy.Hey.

That's not the directionwe're going in?

No.Listen...

He's ready for a laugh

but, y'know, could youplease make sure it's funny?

Yeah, put some kind oftwist on it.

Has he been therethe whole time?

( woman )Knock, knock.

( Jason )Lisa Lampanelli!

My first choice.

It would either be meor the Grim Reaper.

( laughing )

That's good.

We heard that you bookeda Toyota commercial.

You weren'tavailable, I...

Well, that explainswhy Amy Schumer's here.

The girl's a miracle workerwith her comedy.

If she's funny,it's a miracle.

( all laughing )

( man )That's terrific.

Beat it!

( man )Yeah, beat it.

Hey, wait a minute.

Who's dying herefirst?

This guy...or this guy?

( all laughing )

( woman )Excuse me.

Are you Amy Schumer?

Yeah.You have HPV.

We've been trying toreach you for seven years.

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