Carlos Mencia - Come to America

  • Season 6, Ep 10
  • 06/23/2002
  • Views: 13,968

A GEOGRAPHICAL THING, LET'S GET

THAT OUT OF THE WAY RIGHT NOW.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

WE THINK ANYBODY CAN COME

TO AMERICA.

AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE

EVERYBODY IN THIS COUNTRY.

SO, OBVIOUSLY, YOU CAN GET HERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

SO, I'M SAYING, HEY DON'T CRY,

COME HERE.

THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

I DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR PEOPLE,

YOU KNOW, LIVING IN CRAPPY

PLACES.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

I SEE PICTURES OF SOME PLACES

IN THE MIDDLE EAST.

WHERE IT'S ALL BROWN.

THERE'S NO WATER.

THERE'S NO VEGETATION.

EVEN THE CAMELS HAVE THIS LOOK

LIKE, "MAN, WE HAVE TO GET

THE HELL OUT OF HERE."

(LAUGHTER)

AND I SEE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

AND I'M THINKING.

COME ON.

MOVE, MAN.

MOVE!

BUT IT'S NOT--

SEE SOME ARE LIKE "THAT'S MEAN."

NO, NO, NO, NO.

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE YOU

COME FROM.

I DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR REDNECKS.

THEY GOT TO GET HIT BY TORNADOES

EVERY YEAR WHEN THEY LIVE IN

TORNADO ALLEY.

YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

YOU'RE A JACKASS.

MOVE.

YOU CAN'T COME AND, "I GOT HIT

BY A TUR-NAY-DUR AGAIN."

WELL, OF COURSE YOU DID,

YOU LIVE IN TORNADO ALLEY!

IT'S TELLING YOU I'M COMING

RIGHT HERE.

(LAUGHTER)

DUMB ASS, MOVE.

I DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.

"WE GOT HIT BY A TUR-NAY-DUR."

WELL, MOVE, JACKASS.

IT'S NOT EVEN THAT DIFFICULT

FOR YOU TO MOVE.

YOUR HOUSE HAS WHEELS!

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

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