Exclusive - Marc Maron - The Legend of Frankie Bastille - Uncensored

Brain on Drugs 01/22/2015 Views: 18,261

Marc Maron describes a fellow comedian from his early stand-up days who taught him the true meaning of professionalism. (7:36)

Marc Maron: He pulls outa little dime bag and

he snorts it and he goes, "Youwant some?" And I'm like, "I'm

driving, this is not the time totry heroin."

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♪♪

Thank you everybody.

If you don't know, here's what the

show is. It's just a bunch ofpeople and we're all telling

true stories.

You guys knows him from

WTF Podcast with Marc Maron.

Ladies and gentleman, Mr. MarcMaron, everybody.

Alright so this, thisis a comic story. Now,

comedians, we have to, you know,we have to learn how to be

comedians and that takes timeand it takes writing jokes, but

it just takes doing it a lot.And a very important thing about

being a comic that you learnearly on is that if you're

booked on a gig, you better doyour time. No more, no less. Do

your time. Now when I starteddoing comedy, it was in Boston,

Massachusetts, and when I wasstarting out I was just starting

to work and the way the showsworked at that time is you do

road gigs and the first guywould do a half an hour, the

headliner would do forty-fiveminutes and that was the show.

So now I'm just starting to openand there was this dude who

moved to Boston from Cleveland,no one knew who he was. All we

knew was that he didn't like hisname in the paper, he didn't

want his name on the marqueebecause the IRS was after him

and an ex-wife. So this guy wasactually on the lamb doing live

stand-up comedy. These are thekind of people that were around

doing comedy back in the day.And this guy's name was Frankie

Bastille. Now I had to go pickFrankie up to drive him to a gig

in Connecticut. We were going todrive two and a half hours, me

and this guy I'd never metbefore. So I go to this

apartment building and I'mwalking down this hallway to

pick this dude up and all I hearfrom the end of the hall coming

from an apartment I can't quitesee is some guy going, "Where's

my tooth? Where's my fuckingtooth?" And I'm like, "What is

going on?" And I know on thedoor and this dude opens up, he

looks like Keith Richards andhe's missing his front tooth. He

goes, "I'm Frankie, I can't findmy tooth." Alright, I'm Marc.

He's like, "Alright, we gottafind my tooth and then we go."

Um, Alright. So we look aroundfor the tooth for about twenty

minutes and he reaches into hispocket and he goes, "Oh shit, I

got it," and he pops his toothinto his face. So that was

Frankie. He had a Tibetan chanttattooed around one arm, he had

some other tattoos on the otherarm, he looked like Keith

Richards and he talked likethat, he's like, "Alright, man,

we're gonna go." So I'm drivingin the car with this dude and

he's giving the lowdown on howto do stand up, right. He's

like, "Gotta do your time, man.It's the most important thing.

That's the rules of the road,you gotta do your time." And

right before I was about to goon stage, he recited some poem

that he had written about theroad to me before I went on. I

wish to hell I could rememberit, but it was sort of like a

pirate shanty of some kind. Sonow, like, I'm just starting

out. So I go on stage before himat this place that had disco

balls, it was like just a bar inConnecticut that was doing a

one-nighter. I go on stage, I'mdoing well, I do everything I

got. Every joke I have, I do allof it. And then I stop and I go,

"Alright, thank you very much,I'm Marc Maron, it's my pleasure

to bring up to the stage, heworks clubs and colleges all

over, Frankie Bastille." Theyall clap. Nothing, he doesn't

come up. Clapping stops, kind ofslows down. He doesn't come up.

And I'm standing there, I'mlike, "Alright well, please

bring up Frankie Bastille."Nothing. So now it's weird and

there's silence. And from theback of the room I hear Frankie

go, "Twenty-six!" I'm like,"What?" He goes, "You did

twenty-six minutes, got fourminutes left!" So I do some

street joke I remember and I getoff and he goes on and kills, he

gets off. He goes, "Gotta doyour time, man."

And I worked with him a coupleother times.

Frankie was a doper and this is

one of the reasons why I lovestand-up comedy because I worked

with him a couple other times.And I was doing blow at the

time, I was doing a little bitof coke. And he was living in a

SRO off of Kenmore Square, youknow, and I said I'm gonna go

get some dope, some coke. And Iwent to my dealer's house and

somehow I left with like, youknow, a half a gram and a guitar

amp. He was that kind of dealer.He dealt to musicians so it was

sort of a pawn shop-slash-- So Ishow up at Frankie's with this

half gram and I was going to dosome lines.

He goes, "Can I do some?"

I'm like, "Yeah, it's fine." Hegoes, "I'm going to shoot mine."

And I'm like, "Okay. I guess."

He goes, "You wanna watch?" I'm

like, "Yeah, I do kinda."

He pulls out like something that

looks like, you know, the kindof, I was never a dope guy, but

you know when you gotparaphernalia. He had this stuff

that was like, "Wow that stufflooks pretty well used. It looks

like you love that equipment."And, you know, it was the

fascinating thing to me aboutthis particular moment is he

tied himself off and then hepulled some coke into the

syringe and he hit himself. Andlike within thirty seconds he's

like, [inaudible]. And I'm like,"Oh no, now we're in trouble."

He's like, [inaudible], thisstuff's cut with baking soda.

And I'm like; I thought it wasso impressive that he could

taste from the inside. Ithought, "This guy is really

something. Real junkie." Andthen he got all hyper and

started sweating and startedtalking about things. But here's

the last bit is like, okay. So Igot driving down to Cape Cod to

do a show at a Chineserestaurant called Johnny E's.

They had like a Polynesian danceshow and then they had comedy.

And I'm driving Frankie about anhour fifteen, an hour and a half

down there, however long it was.And we're driving and he's

pulling out little bindles ofheroin and he's snorting them in

the car. So like he pulls out alittle dime bag and he snorts it

and he goes, "You want some?"And I'm like, "I'm driving, this

is not the time to try heroin."

So like he does two bags of

heroin and he's done, man. He'sout. He's like nodding, like

he's out. And we pull up atJohnny E's and I gotta walk him

in. So I'm walking this dude inand I put him in a booth and he

just was like, "Gaaa"-- out. Idon't know what the hell to do.

So I go up and I do my halfhour, I do my time.

And now I'm bringing Frankie up

and I don't know if he's evenawake. So I go, "Ladies and

gentleman, clubs and collegesall over, please welcome Frankie

Bastille." And like a seconddidn't go by and he bounds onto

the stage and he does the mostanimated show I have ever seen

in my life. He's sweating, he'sacting shit out, he gets a

standing ovation. Then he getsoff, we go out to the car, and

he's like, "Gaaaa." And I'mdriving, all I'm thinking is

like, "That dude is aprofessional."

[applause]

He passed away.

Rest in peace, Frankie Bastille.Thank you very much.

[applause]♪♪