Roy Wood Jr. - Sucking at Relationships

Lampert, Wood Jr., Leggero, Rannazzisi Season 9, Ep 910 11/11/2005 Views: 3,773

Roy Wood Jr. sucks at relationships. (1:23)

YAH. GOOD TO SEE Y'ALL LOOKING COUPLED UP AND STUFF.

GOOD FOR YOU 'CAUSEI SUCK AT RELATIONSHIPS.

I SUCK AT LOVE. I'M THROUGH TRYING.

YOU EVER BEEN ON A DATE SO BAD THE GIRL MAKES DROP HER OFF

AT ANOTHER DUDES HOUSE? YOU EVER BEEN THROUGH THAT?

[LAUGHTER]

SOMEBODY COME OUTAND GIVE YOU GAS MONEY.

Y'ALL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

MY LAST RELATIONSHIP I WAS INWAS LIKE TWO YEARS AGO.

THIS GIRL BROKE UP WITH ME AND THEN CHANGED HER MIND.

I DIDN'T WANNA TAKE HER BACK AND SHE GOT ALL DEPRESSED.

DECIDED SHE WAS GONNAFAKE HER OWN SUICIDE TOGET ME TO TAKE HER BACK.

I SWEAR TO GOD, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

THIS IS AN ACTUAL ON STAR CONVERSATION.

THIS IS FOR REAL. THIS REALLY HAPPENED.

- [LAUGHTER]- GOOD. YOU CAUGHT THAT.

YOU'RE NOT RETARDED. THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD.

BUT SHE CALLS ME UP AT 2 A.M. SHAKING THESE SLEEPING PILLS

ON THE PHONE. SWEAR TO GOD. [Pills Rattling in Bottle]

YOU HEAR THAT, ROY? I'M FIXING TO GO TO SLEEP

'CAUSE YOU DON'T WANNA BE WITH ME, GOOD NIGHT. CLICK.

AND SHE HUNG UP. THEN SHE PROCEEDED TO SEND ME

TEXT MESSAGES EVERY 30 MINUTES TO LET ME KNOW THAT

SHE HAD TAKEN A COUPLE MORE PILLS.

I DON'T KNOW IF THIS SOME SORT OF SUICIDE, UPDATE SPORTS TICKET

THAT I DONE SIGNED UP FOR. AND YOU DON'T KNOW

IF YOUR CELL PHONE COMPANY IS CHARGING YOU EXTRA.

SO YOU TRY TO BLOCK 'EM.

I'M TRYING TO BLOCK THE TEXT MESSAGES

AND THEY KEEP COMING THROUGH. 14 PILLS, ROY. 28 PILLS, ROY.

34 PILLS, ROY. AREN'T YOU GONNA SAY SOMETHING?

I CALLED HER UP I SAID,IT'S BEEN TWO HOURS.

WHY AREN'T YOU ASLEEP YET? GO TO SLEEP. GO TO SLEEP!

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]