Woody for Governor

  • Season 2 , Ep 7
  • 10/15/2013
  • Views: 2,002

With Woody polling miserably in the governor's race, Malloy comes up with a plan to sabotage the competition. (1:38)

- UH-OH, FOX NEWS JUST SAIDTHAT GAY TERRORISTS

ARE TRYING TO REPLACEOUR GUNS WITH ABORTIONS.

THAT'S WHY WOODYNEEDS TO BE GOVERNOR.

JUST MAKE THAT DONATION CHECKOUT TO MALLOY.

[radio static]- HEY, GUYS! IT'S STEVE!

I'VE BEEN TRAPPED FOR DAYSIN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY!

PLEASE SEND--[static]

- ALL RIGHT, TEAM WOODY!

HOW MUCH MONEYHAVE WE RAISED?

- $30,000.

- BOOM!

- OOPS, SORRY.NEGATIVE $30,000.

- WHAT?

- THERE'S THE PRINTING,THE RADIO SPOTS,

UH, AND THAT DOLPHINFOR YOUR INAUGURATION.

[dolphin chatters]

- IT WAS AN IMPULSE BUY,BUT I DON'T REGRET IT.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

YOU'VE GOTA LOT OF NERVE,

WEARING THATIN MY CAMPAIGN OFFICE.

- IT'S NOT YOURCAMPAIGN OFFICE, WOODY.

IT'S THE RANGER STATION.

- BURN IN HELL, JEW.- WHAT?

OH, MORE FREEMILITIA T-SHIRTS, DENZEL?

- NO, I GOT THISAT THE GAP.

- LOOK, WOODY,YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE.

GOVERNOR MELCHERCUT UNEMPLOYMENT,

SHE BALANCED THE BUDGET,

AND WON A CONGRESSIONALMEDAL OF HONOR.

YOU'RE A RACIST,MISOGYNISTIC WAR CRIMINAL!

- WELL, WHEN YOU SAY ITWITH THAT NEGATIVE TONE,

IT SOUNDS BAD, YEAH.

- UGH!- WOODY, HERE'S THE DEAL.

I NEED YOU TO WIN

SO I CAN LIVEIN THE GOVERNOR'S MANSION.

- I'M RUNNINGAGAINST A WOMAN.

OF COURSEI'M GOING TO WIN.

- YOU'RE TRAILINGIN THE POLLS BY 99%!

WE NEED TO DOSOMETHING DRASTIC.

- YOU'RE RIGHT! WE SHOULDBUY ANOTHER DOLPHIN!

- NO! LET'S BLACKMAILTHIS WOMAN.

- OOH, THAT'S SMART.

GET SOME DIRT ON HER,HOLD IT OVER HER HEAD.

- NO. I SAID, "BLACK MALE,"I.E., YOU.

YOU'RE GONNA MAKEA SEX TAPE WITH HER.

- YEAH, THEN WE CANWHACK OFF TO IT.

- NO, WE WILL SEND ITTO THE PRESS.

- YOU DO IT YOUR WAY,I'LL DO IT MINE.

- I DO LOVE SEX AND ELECTRONICS.BUT HOW OLD IS SHE?

- DON'T WORRY.SHE'S OLD.

- HEY, DID YOUHEAR THAT, DICK?

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