Dan Naturman - Nice Car

  • Season 9, Ep 11
  • 04/14/2005
  • Views: 7,312

A nice car is attractive to a lot of women. With a '96 Geo, you're not getting top-quality booty. (1:22)

THEY LOOK AT THE TRAPPINGS,

LIKE THEY LOOK AT THE WATCH

OR MAYBE THE CAR, RIGHT?

LIKE A NICE CAR IS ATTRACTIVE

TO A LOT OF WOMEN.

I FOUND WITH, A 96' GEO YOU'RE

NOT GETTING THE TOP QUALITY

BOOTY.

[LAUGHTER]

NOW, MAYBE IT'S ME I DON'T KNOW

BUT YOU GET NO RESPECT DRIVING

THAT THING.

JUST LAST WEEK SOME TOLLBOOTH

COLLECTOR STARTED GIVING ME

ATTITUDE.

HE WAS LIKE, "YEAH,

THAT'D BE 1.25.

YOU THINK YOU CAN SWING IT,

GEO MAN.

[LAUGHTER]

BY THE WAY, THAT'S A NICE RADAR

DETECTOR YOU'VE GOT IN THERE,

I'M SURE IT COMES IN HANDY

WITH YOUR TWO HORSEPOWER PIECE

OF JUNK."

NO RESPECT AT ALL.

I'LL TELL YOU, THERE ARE SO MANY

HOT WOMEN IN NEW YORK CITY

IT'S TOO MUCH, IT REALLY IS.

THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE,

THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE,

THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND NOT THAT LOOK'S ARE

EVERYTHING.

I JUST WANT TO MENTION THAT

LOOKS ARE NOT EVERYTHING,

ALL RIGHT?

AND I'M NOT JUST SAYING THAT.

I BELIEVE THAT INNER BEAUTY

IS ACTUALLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN

PHYSICAL BEAUTY.

LIKE IF A WOMAN IS A LITTLE

OVERWEIGHT FOR EXAMPLE THAT

DOESN'T BOTHER ME.

NOW, NOT TOO OVERWEIGHT 'CAUSE

A GEO IS A SMALL CAR ALL RIGHT?

AND I'VE GOT TO FIT HER IN THE

THING OTHERWISE I'VE GOT

TO LEAVE HER AT HOME AND THAT'S

NOT GOOD FOR ANY RELATIONSHIP.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU THINK I'M JOKING SIR,

MY LAST GIRLFRIEND, LARGE WOMAN

SIR, WE MET HERE IN NEW YORK

CITY AND THE WAY WE MET,

WE LIVED IN THE SAME BUILDING,

THAT'S HOW WE MET.

AND I'LL NEVER FORGET THE DAY

WE MET EITHER.

I'M IN THE ELEVATOR AND THE

DOOR OPENS, SHE'S STANDING

THERE, SHE SAYS GOING DOWN,

I SAYS WE ARE IF YOU GET IN

AND UH...

[LAUGHTER]

THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL STORY.

[APPLAUSE]

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