Calling the Cable Company

  • Season 2 , Ep 3
  • 04/15/2014
  • Views: 39,436

Amy calls the cable company when her Internet goes out, but her patience and composure are no match for their infuriating customer service. (4:33)

Is the internetworking for you?

Mmm, let me see.

No.

Give me my phone, I'll call.

Uh, maybe it's betterif I call.

No, I know what you're thinking,but I'm not gonna freak out.

I'm in likea really good place.

You sure?

Oh my God, it's a phone call,like, relax.

You got this, girl.

(line tone ringing)

(woman) Please listen carefully

as our menu has changed.

For English, please press one.

English.

Are you currently a Time Warner Cable customer?

Yes.

Do you want help with your account?

Yes.

Did you say you want to add a land line?

Representative.

All of our representatives are busy.

Please hold for the next available representative.

(Muzak playing)

Thank you for calling Time Warner Cable.

This is Janardhan, may I have your account number, please?

Okay, it's 1-6-1-9--

Please hold while I look up the first half

of your account number.

Oh, yeah, that doesn'tmake any sense.

(beeping)Please don't leave me-- Hello?

(Muzak playing)

Aah, you're fine.

Come on, God.

(dial tone)

Hello, Janardhan, Janardhan!

No, (bleep) no (bleep) ass(bleep) my whole (bleep).

Janardhan!

F... (bleep)!

(wind howling)

English.

Representative.

Person! Human person!

(whimpering)

Thank you for calling Time Warner cable.

This is Janardhan, may I help--

1-6-1-9-6-3-4.

I need your account number, please.

Janardhan, just be realright now, man.

Be real!

Ma'am, let me transfer you to our transfer department.

What? Please hold for...

No-no-no-no-no!

No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!

No, Janardhan!

Janardhan!

(bleeps).

I mean, I was gonna go backto school but like, for what?

Like, for what?

We're all going tothe same place, anyway.

We have our relationships.

Like that's all we havein this world.

That's who we are.

(beeping)

(Janardhan) We'll need the serial number

of the first modem you ever owned.

(bleep) you, Janardhan!

(bleep) you.

And what was the nickname

your mother gave you when you were seven?

I know you're probablylike a really good guy.

It's not your fault,you're probably like--

You have interestsand you probably have like

a family or like a cator something, but like--

(bleep) you.

(sobbing)

Like, why are you doing thisto us, Janardhan?

(crying)

♪ But I'm in so deep

♪ You know I'm sucha fool for you ♪

♪ You got me wrapped aroundyour finger ah ha ha ♪

♪ Do you haveto let it linger? ♪

♪ Do you have to,do you have to ♪

♪ Do you haveto let it linger? ♪

♪ Oh I thoughtthe world of you ♪

♪ I thought nothingcould go wrong ♪

♪ But I was wrong

♪ I was wrong if you

♪ If you could get by

♪ Trying not to lie

I love you, Janardhan.

I love you too, Mrs. Scuva.

(whispers)Do it.

♪ And I wouldn'tfeel so used ♪

(gunshot)

(beeping)

Oh, the router just neededto be restarted.

Cool.

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