Jim Norton - Ethnic Pride

Tough Crowd Stands Up with Colin Quinn Season 1, Ep 0101 12/08/2002 Views: 6,413

Jim Norton is not impressed with your ethnicity. (1:12)

OBSESSION WE HAVE IN THIS

COUNTRY.

I AM SO SICK OF HEARING ABOUT

YOUR ETHNICITY, I AM NOT

CONCERNED WITH IT, I'M NOT

IMPRESSED WITH IT.

"I HAVE A LOT OF ETHNIC PRIDE."

DO YOU REALLY?

DIE IN A FIRE, I DON'T CARE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

UGH!

I HAVE NONE.

I'M IRISH.

I'M NOT SELF-HATING IRISH.

I DON'T DISLIKE OTHER IRISH

PEOPLE BUT I'M SORRY I DON'T

AUTOMATICALLY FEEL CONNECTED

TO SOMEONE JUST 'CAUSE THEIR

GRANDPARENTS ALSO HAD SEX IN A

FIELD DURING A POTATO FAMINE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S IRRITATING.

WE'RE ALL JUST FRIGHTENED--

IT'S A LONELY, AWFUL WORLD.

WE'RE FLOATING AROUND LIKE

A BUNCH OF AMOEBAS LOOKING FOR

ANYTHING TO CONNECT TO AND

ETHNICITY IS JUST ONE MORE

THING.

OH, ARE YOU IRISH?

ME, TOO.

BLAH-BLAH-BLAH-BLAH-BLAH.

[LAUGHTER]

I JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT IT.

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS IRISH?

COLIN FARRELL.

HE'S A MILLIONAIRE WHO BANGS

MODELS.

I HAVE TO FLY TO RIO TO PICK-UP

AFFORDABLE PROSTITUTES, WHAT

CONNECTION DO WE POSSIBLY HAVE?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND I'M NOT SAYING ALL ETHNIC

THINGS ARE AWFUL.

I LOVE THE PUERTO RICAN DAY

PARADE 'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHERE

THEY ALL ARE.

[LAUGHTER AND CHEERING]