Paul F. Tompkins - Text Messages

  • Season 11 , Ep 15
  • 03/15/2007
  • Views: 12,993

Cell phones are great because they cut down on verbal communication. (2:11)

YOU'RE WRONG!

'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUTISSUES TONIGHT!

WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT STUFF THAT MATTERS!

SO, I HOPE YOU CAN HANDLE IT! HERE WE GO.

TOPIC NUMBER ONE: ABORTION. HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE IT?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON A SECOND. HOLD ON.

THAT WAS APOORLY PHRASED QUESTION. I APOLOGIZE.

DOES NOT LEAVE YOU A WHOLE LOT OF WIGGLE ROOM. LET ME REPHRASE IT.

ABORTION,IS IT DUMB OR AWESOME?THOSE ARE YOUR CHOICES.

WRITE IT DOWN.I HOPE YOU BROUGHT PADS. WRITE IT DOWN.

[SUBDUED LAUGHTER]

THIS IS GONNA BE A MAD MARCH. IT'S NOT GONNA BE A GOOD MARCH.

WE'RE NOT GONNA GETANYTHING DONE.

FOLKS, LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT MYSELF.

I'M NOT TRYING TO BRAG OR MAKEYOU FEEL SMALL ABOUT YOURSELVES.

BUT, I HAVE A CELL PHONE. LET ME EXPLAIN WHAT THAT IS.

- IT'S-- - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU KNOW HOW IF YOU HAVEA PHONE IN YOUR HOUSE?

IT'S LIKE THAT EXCEPT THERE'S NO "ROPES"ATTACHED TO IT.

[LAUGHTER]

I HAVE A CELL PHONE BECAUSE I LOVE TO TEXT MESSAGE.

I LOVE IT. LOVE TEXT MESSAGING.

- [APPLAUSE]- HOLD ON. WEIRD APPLAUSE BREAK.

I LOVE TEXT MESSAGING BECAUSE I LOVE ANY FORM OF ONE-SIDED,

- NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION. - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I LIKE TOGIVE PEOPLE INFORMATIONAND THEN THEY GOT TO

- DEAL WITH IT.- [LAUGHTER]

NOT EVERYTHING'S A CONVERSATION. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

I'LL BE THEREIN FIVE MINUTES. THERE!

- THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW.- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

'CAUSE HERE'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO AVOID,

"ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES." "OKAY. [PAUSE]

SO, WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?"

"NO! NO! NO! NO!

"TELL YOU WHAT? SAVE IT-- SAVE IT FOR FIVE MINUTES FROM NOW

"WHEN WE SEE EACH OTHER.LET'S NOT BURN OUT

ALL OUR TOPICS NOW.WHATEVER WILL WE DISCUSSIN FIVE MINUTES?"

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