Tracy Smith - Last Woman on Earth

  • Season 7 , Ep 26
  • 08/21/2003
  • Views: 3,997

Tracy's high heels are proof that she doesn't hate men. (1:39)

MAN'S BEST FRIEND UP HERE.

ANYBODY THINKS I DON'T LIKE MEN,

TAKE A LITTLE CLOP AROUND THE

BLOCK IN THESE FRICKING SHOES.

COME BACK WITH YOUR BLISTERED

FEET, AND TELL ME HOW MUCH

I HATE MEN.

I LOVE MEN.

I THINK WOMEN ARE THE PROBLEM.

OH, YEAH.

IF IT WEREN'T FOR WOMEN,

I'D HAVE ALL THE MEN I NEED.

[LAUGHTER]

I'D BE SHEENA, QUEEN OF THE

JUNGLE.

YOU'D BE MY LOYAL SUBJECT.

NOT FOR SEX, JUST TO FETCH ME

STUFF.

YOU COULD BRING ME FOOD.

'CAUSE IF I'M GONNA BE THE ONLY

WOMAN ON EARTH, FAT'S COMING

BACK IN STYLE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

OH, DON'T START CLAPPING NOW,

LADIES.

IT'S MY ISLAND.

I'D INVITE YOU, BUT ONE OF YOU

WOULD LOSE WEIGHT AND (BLEEP)

IT UP FOR ALL OF US.

YOU'VE ALREADY SCREWED UP

ENOUGH THINGS FOR EACH OTHER.

MEN ARE PISSED OFF AT US.

MEN DON'T TRUST US.

YOU KNOW WHY?

'CAUSE WOMEN COST MONEY.

YEAH.

AND IF A MAN IS OVER 35

AND HE'S SINGLE, OR SINGLE

AGAIN, WELL, HE'S MADE SOME BAD

INVESTMENTS.

USED TO BE THE WOMEN HAD ALL

THE LAND AND ALL THE MONEY.

WE WERE GIVEN DOWRIES.

PARCELS OF LAND.

AND WHOEVER HAD THE BIGGEST

DOWRY, AND THE BIGGEST PARCEL

OF LAND, GOT HER CHOICE

OF THE HOTTEST BACHELORS.

OF COURSE, THAT WAS THE SAME

TIME IN OUR HISTORY WHEN THE MEN

WERE RUNNING AROUND WEARING

MAKE-UP, WIGS, AND HIGH HEELS.

WHO'S MOMMY'S LITTLE WHORE NOW.

DON'T WEAR SO MUCH ROUGE, HONEY.

YOU LOOK DESPERATE.

BUT WOMEN WORRY ABOUT LOSING

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