Kyle Cease - Vote a Lot

  • Season 10 , Ep 24
  • 05/11/2006
  • Views: 17,111

Kyle wishes propositions were phrased more clearly. (1:26)

I THINK THE PROBLEM ISTHIS COUNTRY'S SPLIT RIGHT NOW.

I THINK IF YOU'RE A REPUBLICAN-- WELL, YOU'RE WRONG--

BUT I THINK IF YOU'RE A REPUBLICAN--

I'M JUST KIDDING-- I'M JUST KIDDING.

I OWN LIKE FOUR REPUBLICANS IN CASE THREE BREAK DOWN.

BUT I THINK IF YOU'RE A REPUBLICAN THAT'S AWESOME.

I THINK IF YOU'RE A DEMOCRAT THAT'S AWESOME.

I JUST THINK WE NEED TO VOTE. WE NEED TO VOTE A LOT.

MY FAVORITE THING TO VOTE ON-- THANK YOU, BOTH OF YOU.

MY FAVORITE THING TO VOTE ON, ARE THE INITIATIVES.

YOU KNOW, THE PROPOSITIONS

WHERE YOU'LL SEEAN ARGUMENT FOR ONE SIDE

AND YOU'RE LIKE "THAT'S A GOOD POINT."

AND THEN YOU'LL SEE AN ARGUMENT FOR THE OTHER SIDE

AND YOU'RE LIKE, "THAT'S A GOOD POINT, TOO,"

AND YOU NEVER KNOW WHICH WAY TO VOTE.

I THINK WE NEED A FEW THAT IT'S JUST OBVIOUS

WHICH WAY TO VOTE, RIGHT OFF THE BAT.

LIKE WOULDN'T IT BE COOL IF IT WAS LIKE,

"PROPOSITION 97, SHOULD WE CONTINUE TO NOT EAT BABIES?"

RIGHT THERE, YOU'D BE LIKE, "I DON'T WANT TO EAT BABIES.

I DON'T HAVE TIME. THEY'RE NOT DELICIOUS.

IT WOULD BE EATING BABIES. AND THAT'S WEIRD TO ME.

SO THERE'S 3 REASONS THAT I'VECOME UP WITH THAT I'M VOTING NO.

BUT THE WAY THEY PHRASE THOSE THINGS GOING IN TO VOTE

YOU DON'T KNOWWHICH WAY YOU'RE VOTING.BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS,

"SHOULD WE NOT EAT UNBABIES, NOT ON THIS NOT DAY."

AND YOU'RE JUST SITTING THERE LIKE,

"[BLEEP], I DON'T WANT TO EAT BABIES," YOU KNOW.

I DON'T HAVE TIME, THEY'RE NOT DELICIOUS, REMEMBER MY REASONS?

I HAD LIKE THREE. SO YOU VOTE NO ON IT

AND THEN IT'S ON THE NEWS THE NEXT DAY,

"WELL, 74% OF AMERICANS DECIDED IT'S TIME TO EAT BABIES!"

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

THIS IS MY NEW POSITION. I SPEAK LIKE THIS.

PART OF THE PROBLEM IS PROBABLY RELIGION.

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