Highlights magazine--best magazine ever.
Am I right? Yeah!
I love that magazine.
It's very educational.
I get my current events from it.
I was reading itthe other day though,
and I couldn't get pastthe front cover
'cause on the front cover,it said,
"How many things are wrongwith this picture?"
I was baffled.
I was, like,how about everything?
It's a bunch of beaverswearing flannel,
Yeah, I know.
Clearly some sort of weird,hidden lesbian agenda.
I don't know. It's strange.
If I could go back in time,
I would go to the setof Back to the Future
in a DeLorean,and tell Michael J. Fox
that he has Parkinson's.
(laughter and moaning)
Who... who's moaning, right?
I would go to all that troubleto help him out,
and you wouldjust leave him there?
Shame on you. Awful.
So I read this story onthe Internet about Jim Carrey.
And, apparently, beforehe got all rich and famous,
he wrote his dad a checkfor ten million dollars,
knowing that, someday,he would be successful.
Then he told his dad, "Dad,someday you can cash this."
And since I'm in the biz,
I thoughtI'd write my dad a check
for $80 million,'cause I'm not a pussy.
And then I told my dad,"Dad, someday you can cash this
because I'm goingto rob Jim Carrey."
You guys have been great!