Doug Mellard - Highlights for Kids

Season 2, Ep 0204 07/05/2007 Views: 2,400

Highlights magazine is the best magazine ever. (1:49)

Highlights magazine--best magazine ever.

Am I right? Yeah!


I love that magazine.

It's very educational.

I get my current events from it.

It's great.

I was reading itthe other day though,

and I couldn't get pastthe front cover

'cause on the front cover,it said,

"How many things are wrongwith this picture?"

I was baffled.

I was, like,how about everything?

It's a bunch of beaverswearing flannel,

doing construction.

Yeah, I know.

Clearly some sort of weird,hidden lesbian agenda.

I don't know. It's strange.

If I could go back in time,

I would go to the setof Back to the Future

in a DeLorean,and tell Michael J. Fox

that he has Parkinson's.

(laughter and moaning)

Who... who's moaning, right?

I would go to all that troubleto help him out,

and you wouldjust leave him there?

Shame on you. Awful.

So I read this story onthe Internet about Jim Carrey.

And, apparently, beforehe got all rich and famous,

he wrote his dad a checkfor ten million dollars,

knowing that, someday,he would be successful.

Then he told his dad, "Dad,someday you can cash this."

And since I'm in the biz,

I thoughtI'd write my dad a check

for $80 million,'cause I'm not a pussy.

And then I told my dad,"Dad, someday you can cash this

because I'm goingto rob Jim Carrey."

You guys have been great!