Daniel Tosh - Top That

Daniel Tosh: Happy Thoughts Season 1, Ep 101 03/06/2011 Views: 92,895

Daniel Tosh shares the real story of a boy's decapitation by a roller coaster. (1:29)

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IS HOW HE WAS DECAPITATED.

IT WASA SUSPENSION ROLLER COASTER.

A YOUNG LADY,25 YEARS OLD,

HER LEGIS WHAT DECAPITATED HIM.

SHATTERED HER LEGIN OVER EIGHT PLACES.

SHE HAD TO HAVE THREE SURGERIESAND WEAR A CAST FOR OVER A YEAR.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE EVER WORNA CAST OR NOT,

BUT EVERYBODY AND THEIR MOTHERWILL COME UP TO YOU

AND BE LIKE,"HOW'D YOU BREAK YOUR LEG?"

[laughter]

SHE GETS TO BE LIKE,"I [bleep] PUNTED A GUY'S HEAD

"90 YARDS.YEAH.

TOP THAT, JANIKOWSKI."

OH, FINALLY A RAIDER REFERENCETHAT DOESN'T INVOLVE SUCKING.

[cheers and applause]

PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS TOLD MEI HAVE A SICK SENSE OF HUMOR.

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?I ASSUME IT'S RELATIVE.

WHO ARE YOU COMPARING ME TO?CARROT TOP?

THEN, YEAH,I'M A LITTLE BLUE.

TO MY CIRCLE OF FRIENDS,I'M TAME.

MY SISTER'S OFF THE CHARTS.

I PLAY PRACTICAL JOKESON HER CONSTANTLY, THOUGH.

I GOT HER SO GOODA FEW WEEKS AGO.

I REPLACED HER PEPPER SPRAYWITH SILLY STRING.

ANYWAY, THAT NIGHT,SHE GOT RAPED,

AND SHE CALLED METHE NEXT DAY,

GOING, "YOU SON OF A BITCH.

"YOU GOT ME SO GOOD.

"NO, NO, NO, NO,AS SOON

"AS I STARTED SPRAYING HIMIN THE FACE.

"I'M LIKE, 'DANIEL.