Gene Pompa - Gender Differences

  • Season 8 , Ep 17
  • 03/25/2004
  • Views: 2,757

You can avoid buying women drinks by acting slow. (2:42)

IT'S AMAZING TO ME IT'S THE

YEAR 2003 AND WOMEN ARE STILL

GETTING $0.75 FOR EVERY DOLLAR

THAT A MAN EARNS.

I MEAN, DON'T THEY THINK IT'S

TIME WOMEN GET EQUAL PAY,

FOLKS?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WE HAVE GOT TO START LETTING

WOMEN PUT IN EXTRA HOURS.

[LAUGHTER]

PUT A STOP TO THAT NONSENSE.

YOU KNOW WE LIVE IN VERY

PRECARIOUS TIMES.

I THINK WE LIVE IN VERY

DIFFICULT TIMES.

IT'S PARTICULARLY DIFFICULT IF

YOU'RE RAISING A CHILD.

SO I RECENTLY PUT MINE UP FOR

ADOPTION.

[LAUGHTER]

NOW I'M BACK ON THE DATING

SCENE.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

IT'S CRAZY OUT THERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE WHEN I GO

TO A BAR OR NIGHTCLUB AND WOMEN

TRY AND WOMEN TRY TO GET ME TO

BUY THEM DRINKS JUST BECAUSE

OF OUR GENDER DIFFERENCE.

I'M SUPPOSED TO FEEL COMPELLED

TO BUY A WOMAN A DRINK.

I THINK THAT'S A GREAT REASON.

SO NOW I'M AT A BAR AND A WOMAN

APPROACHES ME TO BUY HER A

COCKTAIL I JUST ACT LIKE I'M

REALLY SLOW.

I GO UP TO THIS BAR.

THIS GIRL COMES UP.

"OH, I COULD REALLY USE A

COCKTAIL.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"

I SAID, "MY FRIENDS, THEY CALL

ME TAPIOCA."

[LAUGHTER]

SHE GOES, "OH, 'CAUSE YOU'RE

SO SWEET?"

I GO, "NO 'CAUSE MY UNDERWEAR

IS ALWAYS STICKY."

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

SO WE GO BACK TO HER

APARTMENT...

[LAUGHTER]

AND THAT'S HOW I MET MY

GIRLFRIEND.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.

ALRIGHT, NOW, IF I MAY BE SO

BOLD, I'D LIKE TO EXPLAIN MY

COMIC STRIP HERE.

WHEN YOU GROW UP IN SOUTHERN

CALIFORNIA BACK IN THE '70s

WHEN YOU'RE--

WHEN I WAS 12, YOU GO TO JUNIOR

HIGH SCHOOL YOU GOTTA MAKE A

CONSCIOUS DECISION IF YOU'RE

GONNA BE A SURFER OR A LOW-RIDER

WHICH IS RIDICULOUS 'CAUSE

YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO DO EITHER

ONE.

BUT I WANTED TO DO BOTH

BASICALLY.

SO HERE WE HAVE SOME OLD SCHOOL

CHOLOS CRUISING THEIR LOW-RIDER.

HERE'S A SURF DUDE AND A SURFER

DUDETTE.

AND THEY GET PICKED UP BY THE

CHOLOS.

AND IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE

SCARED BUT THEY'RE NOT 'CAUSE

THIS BATO RIGHT HERE, HE HAD

SOME KILLER GREEN BUD.

AND THEY'RE JUST HAVING LIKE

A LITTLE HEAD RUSH

SIMULTANEOUSLY.

AND THEN THIS BATO, THIS CHOLO,

HE DIDN'T PARTAKE BECAUSE HE'S

THE DESIGNATED DRIVER.

AND HE'S THE RESPONSIBLE CHOLO.

HE'S GOT A MORTGAGE AND [BLEEP].

[LAUGHTER]

AND THEN NOW THEY'RE ALL

TOGETHER SURFING AND ENJOYING

THE AFTERNOON.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING.

[APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.

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