That about covers all I know.(laughter)
Only in America,you have Spanish people
that don't speak Spanish.
Is anyone with me on that?
Oh, so you know how it feels--
to be Spanish in Spanish class--
cheating off of the Chinese kid.
Chinese kid waslooking at me like,
(Chinese accent):"I feel sorry for your mother."
(normal voice):And I'm ashamedthat I don't know it.
Like people ask meto translate stuff.
I don't tell themI can't speak it.
I just make stuff up.(laughter)
I'm in the clubs,some Spanish reggae comes on.
"What is he saying?"
"That guy is complaining aboutthe price of gasolina."
"dame mas gasoline."
I went to Puerto Ricowith my cousin.
Like, I'm not going to haveany fun in Puerto Rico, man.
I don't speak the language.
My cousin's like,"Don't worry, yo.
Just use what you learnedin Spanish 1."
That gets you directions--it doesn't get you laid.
I'm in a club usingwhat I learned in Spanish 1.
I'm like, "Hola."
Tu muy bonita.
She spoke to me in English.
She's like, "You need to treatme with some respect."
You're right. I'm sorry.
(laughter and applause)
Good. I'm glad you tookSpanish 1.
Or I would have beenscrewed on that one.