Private Investigator Pt. 1

  • Season 1 , Ep 8
  • 04/18/2013
  • Views: 12,612

When he notices that Wolfe's Investigations does not have any reviews on Yelp, Nathan convinces the owner to let him review the company. (2:37)

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IN THE LOS ANGELES AREA.

- YOU KNOWWHAT I MEAN?

YOU KEEP PEOPLE HAPPY,THEY'RE GONNA KEEP--

YOU'RE GONNA--THEY'RE GONNA COME BACK.

- I'D LOVE TO TAKE HIMAT HIS WORD,

BUT WHEN I LOOKED HIM UPON YELP,

HE HAD ZERO REVIEWS,AND THAT'S NOT GOOD.

SO I PAID HIM A VISITWITH A PLAN TO CHANGE THAT.

WHEN DID YOU FIRST KNOWTHAT YOU LIKED TO SNOOP?

- [laughs]SNOOP.

NO, IT'S NOT REALLY SNOOPING.I MEAN, IT'S JUST--

- WELL, IT IS.- IT'S NOT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?IT'S OBSERVING.

WE CALL IT "OBSERVING."

- WELL, HERE'S THE THING.

I LOOKED YOU UP ON YELP,AND YOU HAVE ZERO REVIEWS.

- ZERO REVIEWS.WELL, WHAT A NAME, "YELP."

- YELP'S A WEB SITEWHERE PEOPLE LOOK--

- YOU LOOK ME UPON GOOGLE, YOU--

LOOK UP"WOLFE INVESTIGATIONS."

- WHAT ABOUT YELP?

- OKAY, YOU KEEP ON GOING ONABOUT YELP.

WHY DO I CAREABOUT YELP?

SERIOUSLY, NO, LET'S JUST THINKABOUT THIS FOR ONE SECOND.

OKAY?

BEEN IN BUSINESSFOR 24 YEARS.

WHY DO I CARE IF YELPHAS A REVIEW ABOUT ME?

DO YOU THINK I REALLY CAREABOUT YELP?

I DON'T GIVE A [bleep]ABOUT YELP.

- THE PLAN:GIVE WOLFE'S INVESTIGATIONS

THEIR FIRST FIVE-STARYELP REVIEW.

- YOU'RE [bleep] KIDDING ME.

- ARE YOU DONE HAVINGYOUR TANTRUM?

- LOOK, I'M SITTING DOWN.I'M RELAXED.

- JUST LISTEN.

I CAN'T JUST GIVE YOUA REVIEW

WITHOUT KNOWINGHOW GOOD YOU ARE...

- OKAY.

- SO I'M GONNA HIRE YOUTO TRACK A PERSON.

- OKAY.

- I'M GONNA GIVE YOU24 HOURS

TO TRACKMY WHEREABOUTS,

AND IF YOU DO A GOOD JOBAT THAT,

I'LL GIVE YOUA FIVE-STAR REVIEW.

- EASY.- EASY?

- EASY.- ALL RIGHT.

- OKAY.- READY?

- READY?- SET?

- GO.

- GIVE ME SOME--GIVE ME A CHANCE

TO GET A LITTLE BITOF A HEAD START.

- OKAY.

IT'S TOO MUCH.

- A CLASSIC GAMEOF CAT AND MOUSE.

IF BRIAN WAS AS GOODAS HE SAYS HE IS,

HE WAS PROBABLY TWO STEPSAHEAD OF ME ALREADY.

BUT, LUCKILY,I HAD A PLAN.

IF BRIAN WANTED A GOOD REVIEWFROM ME,

IT WASN'TGONNA BE EASY.

IT'S ONE THING FOR BRIANTO TRACK ONE OF ME,

BUT LET'S SEE HOW HE DOESWITH NINE OF ME.

PRIOR TO VISITING BRIAN,I HIRED EIGHT ACTORS

THAT LOOKED IDENTICALTO ME,

AND HAD THEM READY AND WAITINGIN A NEARBY HOTEL ROOM

TO BEMY DECOYS.

YOU GUYS HAVE ONE JOB,WHICH IS TO BE ME, RIGHT?

all: RIGHT.- SO LOOK HOW I'M STANDING.

LOOK AT MY POSTURE.LISTEN TO HOW I'M TALKING.

YOU GOT THAT?all: ALL RIGHT.

both: GOT IT.

- I HAVE A BITOF A JAW THING,

SO SOMETIMES,I'LL GO LIKE THIS TO MY JAW.

IF BRIAN WAS WATCHINGTHE HOTEL,

THIS WAS MY FIRST CHANCETO THROW HIM OFF...

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