Get a Room - Daddy Issues Included

  • Season 1 , Ep 01040
  • 03/25/2014
  • Views: 997

Chris shows Todd Barry, Jenny Johnson and Mike Lawrence some apartment ads on Craigslist, and the comics must come up with taglines to make the places sound enticing. (2:15)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

CRAIGSLIST IS NOT ONLY A GREAT

PLACE TO MEET YOUR FUTURE

EX-STALKER, YOU CAN ALSO FIND

APARTMENTS ON IT SOMETIMES.

SO I AM GOING TO SHOW YOU PHOTOS

OF AN APARTMENT AND FOR 250

POINTS, I WOULD LIKE YOU GUYS

TO COME UP WITH A BETTER LINE

TO SELL IT THAN THE REAL

TAGLINE.

ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S ALL YOU GOT TO DO.

SO HERE'S THIS FIRST ONE.

STRIPPER NOT INCLUDED, TODD

BARRY.

>> ROOMMATE WANTED.

MUST KNOW HOW TO DISINFECT A

POLE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: POINTS, TODD BARRY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

JENNY, MIKE, DID YOU HAVE ONE

FOR THIS?

>> DADDY ISSUES INCLUDED.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: POINTS!

VERY MUCH POINTS!

"IN THE FLOOR JACUZZI, MIRRORS

EVERYWHERE, GINORMOUS WELL

STOCKED BAR."

WHAT KIND OF VEGAS (BLEEP) HOLE

WAS THIS...

(LAUGHTER)

>> CHARLIE SHEEN'S BACK HOUSE.

>> Chris: THE WALLPAPER IS MADE

OF ROOFIES.

LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.

NEXT ONE, NEXT PHOTO, THIS IS 40

POUNDS A WEEK, IT SAYS:

THIS IS LIKE THE FLOOR IN "BEING

JOHN MALKOVICH" WHERE YOU GET

OUT AND YOU GET TO BE JOHN

MALKOVICH.

MIKE LAWRENCE.

>> COMES WITH BOTH THE LOTION

AND THE BASKET.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Chris: SO DO I!

ALL RIGHT.

NEXT ONE.

$500, YOU GUYS, $500.

YES, JENNY JOHNSON.

>> BEDROOM, 7.1 SQUARE FEET;

TOILET, 71% OF THE EARTH.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: POINTS!

PERFECT.

PERFECT SELLING POINT.

NEXT ONE, $250.

MIKE LAWRENCE.

>> THIS USED TO BE DAVID

CARRADINE'S VACATION HOT SPOT.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Chris: YOU KNOW, I COULD

NEVER SUPPORT SUCH A JOKE, MIKE

LAWRENCE, BUT THIS AUDIENCE

DEMANDS THAT I GIVE YOU POINTS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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