like, commercials arethese days
Like, an ad for face washand other beauty products.
Like, I rememberwhen I was a teen
they were, like,really fun and spunky.
Like an ad for face wash.Like, "Yo, girl,
"Just scrub your facewith bubble gum and glitter.
So pretty and young."
You're so hopeful.
But now that I'm 34,
like, the tone of every adtargeted at me is just, like,
the one lady with the voicethat's like,
"Let a team of scientistsfix your face.
There's a product I love,that maybe you guys use it.
It doesn't actually havemuch of an ad campaign.
It's a fun little herballaxative tea
called Smooth Move.
It's like, all right,Smooth Move.
Like, the nameis not literal
so much as it is horriblysarcastic.
Never drank that stuff.Holy moly.
Like, they needa commercial
so I wrote one for themthat goes like this:
Well, good morning.
You forgot you tooka laxative tea last night,
rolled out of bedand climbed straight onto
a rush hour morning bus.
Smooth move, [BLEEP].