Ahmed Bharoocha - God Had Kids Too Early

  • Season 1, Ep 1
  • 10/24/2013
  • Views: 684

Ahmed Bharoocha thinks that Adam and Eve deserved a more attentive parent. (1:45)

Watch Full Episode

HAD KIDS TOO EARLY.

YOU KNOW, LIKE,IF YOU LOOK AT EARTH,

HE WAS CLEARLY, LIKE,A BABY GOD

WHEN HE MADE EARTH.

FOR THE FIRSTFEW MILLION YEARS,

HE WAS JUST OBSESSEDWITH DINOSAURS.

HE WAS LIKE,"OH, THIS IS A T-REX.

"THIS ONE HAS A LONG NECK.IT EATS LEAVES.

HMM."

THEN HE HIT PUBERTYAND WAS LIKE,

"SCREW DINOSAURS.

"I HATE DINOSAURS.I'VE NEVER LIKED DINOSAURS.

"ICE AGE.

I'LL BE IN MY ROOMLISTENING TO MUSIC."

BUT THEN HE HADADAM AND EVE.

HE WAS CLEARLY, LIKE,A TEENAGE GOD, RIGHT?

DIDN'T TAKE ONANY RESPONSIBILITY.

HE WAS JUST LIKE,"UH, LISTEN, GUYS.

"JUST STAY RIGHT HERE,

AND DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF."

AND THEN HE JUST LEFT.

AND HE'S LIKE, "WHEW."

AND HE COMES BACK,AND THEY TOUCHED HIS STUFF,

AND HE'S LIKE,"NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

GET THE HELL OUT.GET OUT."

HE KICKS 'EM OUTAFTER ONE STRIKE.

"GO LIVE WITH YOUR MOTHER,"RIGHT?

THEN, AT ONE POINT,

HE JUST DROWNS EVERYBODY.

THAT'S THE NUMBER ONEWORST THING YOU CAN DO

AS A PARENT.

THAT'S, LIKE, HOW YOU GETIN THE NEWS

FOR BEING A BAD PARENT.

THEN HE TRIESTO MAKE UP FOR IT

BY GIVING US A RAINBOW.

JUST LIKE, "HEY, SORRYFOR MURDERING EVERYONE.

HERE'S SOME COLORSYOU CAN'T TOUCH."

AND THEN HE NEVER TALKEDTO US AGAIN.

HE WALKED OUT,NEVER HAS BEEN BACK,

HASN'T EVEN SENTA POSTCARD--

AT MOST, A POTATO CHIPWITH HIS PICTURE ON IT.

OH, THANKS, DAD.I'LL NEVER EAT IT.

I'M SO HUNGRY.

Loading...