Deon Cole - Save the Strippers

  • Season 2 , Ep 3
  • 04/07/2011
  • Views: 13,434

Don't take Deon Cole to a strip club, he'll just mess the whole night up by talking to the women about Jesus. (2:41)

I GOT SOME JOKES THATI'M A TELL YOU ALL

REAL QUICK, AND, UH...

(laughter)

(mumbling)

I'M NO GOOD IN A STRIP CLUB.

YOU TAKE ME TO A STRIP CLUB,

I'M GONNA MESSTHE WHOLE NIGHT UP.

'CAUSE I FEEL SORRYFOR THEM WOMEN.

I BE TRYING TO SAVE THEM,YOU KNOW? FOR REAL.

LIKE MY FRIENDS TOOK METO A STRIP CLUB,

AND THIS GIRL CAME UP TO ME,SHE WAS LIKE,

"HEY, BIG DADDY,YOU WANT A LAP DANCE?"

I WAS LIKE, "YUP,ME AN JESUS."

(laughter)

HE'S EVERYWHERE.

(laughter)

(laughter)

I WENT TO GO SEE THIS MOVIECALLED "MY SOUL TO TAKE."

IT WAS IN 3-D.

IT WAS THE WORST MOVIEIN THE WORLD.

FOR REAL, ME AND THIS GIRLWENT TO GO SEE IT,

AND I'M SITTING THERE LIKE--WE SITTING HERE

FOR AN HOUR AND HALFWITH THESE 3D GLASSES ON,

I'M LIKE, "THIS SUPPOSEDTO BE IN 3-D?

AIN'T NOTHING EVEN IN 3-D,"AND THE GIRL I WAS WITH,

SHE WAS LIKE, "YEAH,THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER.

"AIN'T NOTHING IN 3-D.

"AIN'T NOTHING CAMEIN MY FACE YET.

I WISH SOMETHIN' WOULD COME IN MY FACE."

AND I WAS LIKE, HMM.

I GOT 3-D AT HOME."

(laughter)

I DON'T TRUST A BLACK MANWHO AIN'T GOT A MUSTACHE.

(laughter)

I DON'T.

IF YOU'RE A BLACK MAN,YOU AIN'T GOT NO MUSTACHE,

DON'T SAY NOTHING TO ME,YOU CREEPY.

IT'S SOMETHING WEIRD.FOR REAL, MAN.

YOU GOTTA HAVE A MUSTACHE,LIKE WHITE GUYS,

Y'ALL COOL WHEN Y'ALL CUTY'ALL MUSTACHES OFF,

BUT BLACK DUDES,THEY DON'T LOOK RIGHT.

IT'S SOMETHING WRONG,YOU KNOW?

I DID A COMMERCIALWITH RAJON RONDO

WHO PLAY FOR THE BOSTON CELTICS,YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?

I DID A COMMERCIAL WITH HIM,AND SOON AS HE CAME

INTO THE ROOM HE WAS LIKE,"DEON, YOU'RE FUNNY AS HELL,"

I WAS LIKE, "WHERE THE (bleep)IS YOUR 'STASH AT?"

(laughter)

"TELL ME HOW FUNNY I AM.WHERE'S YOUR 'STASH, BOY?"

(laughter)

I DON'T TRUST NOBODYWHO WEAR ALL WHITE NEITHER.

YOU EVER SEE THESE PEOPLE?

THEY COME OUT OF THEIR HOUSE,ALL-WHITE JACKET,

ALL-WHITE SHIRT, ALL-WHITE BELT,PANTS, SHOES, SOCKS--

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARETHAT YOU NOT

GONNA GET DIRTY TODAY,HUH?

(laughter)

YOU THAT RESPONSIBLE TODAY

THAT YOU AIN'T GONNA LEANON NOTHING AND GET DIRTY?

I OUGHT TO KICK YOUIN YOUR BACK AND SEND YOU HOME.

(laughter)

(laughter and applause)

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