Jonah Ray - Pool Parties

  • Season 1 , Ep 7
  • 11/27/2012
  • Views: 13,845

Fifteen years ago Jonah Ray would be the king of a pool party if he pushed someone into a pool. (1:00)

- HELLO, EVERYBODY,I'M JONAH RAY.

HERE'S SOMETHING I MISS,

IS BEING ABLETO JUST PUSH SOMEBODY

INTO A POOL.

REMEMBER YOU COULD DO THAT?

THERE WAS A TIMEABOUT 15 YEARS AGO

YOU COULD JUST PUSH SOMEBODYINTO A POOL,

AND THEN YOU BECOME THE KINGOF SAID POOL PARTY.

YOU ARE THE BEST,'CAUSE IT'S HILARIOUS.

YOU KNOW WHY?

'CAUSE HE'S WET,AND HE DIDN'T WANT TO BE.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT TODAY.

YOU DO THATTO SOMEONE TODAY,

AND YOU RUIN THEIR LIFEFOR A FEW WEEKS.

YOU PUSH THEM IN,THEY GO, "OH, MAN!

"MY iPHONE!ALL MY CONTACTS ARE GONE!

"MY iPOD!THERE GO MY SONGS.

"MY iPAD!

"I WAS WRITING A BOOKON MY iPAD.

"I WAS GONNA BETHE FIRST GUY TO DO THAT.

NOW THAT'S ALL GONE.THANKS A LOT."

15 YEARS AGO,

YOU PUSH SOMEBODYIN A POOL, AND THEY GO,

"OH, MY L.A. LIGHTSSTOPPED BLINKING.

"OH, MAN.

"THAT'S A SHAME.

PASS METHAT CRYSTAL PEPSI."

TWO REFERENCES.

[laughter]

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