Like I said,I used to live in Brooklyn,
and I went to this partof Brooklyn called Coney Island.
Which is--Yeah, it's likea theme park area.
And I rodethis roller coaster
called The Cyclone.[scattered applause]
Again, that wasnot my reaction.
I hated it thoroughly.
When I got off, I had,like, bruises everywhere.
I had, like, eight bruises,
one for every dollarI spent.
They should've said, "You'regonna hurt on this ride."
But when I got done,I found out
that The Cyclone is the oldestfunctional roller coaster
in the world.
Yeah, I wishI'd known that
before I risked my life.
Do you know what yearThe Cyclone was--
This roller coaster,The Cyclone, was made
in the year 1927.
"Holy shit" is right.
They should change the nameof that ride to "1927"
'cause that factis way scarier than cyclones.
We didn't know anythingback then, by the way.
We thought cigaretteswere good for us.
Those are the people make--
To give you some perspective,this is true.
This is a fact.You can go home and Google this.
Sliced breadcame on the market
So when people describesomething as,
you know when they're like,
"Oh, it's the greatest thingsince sliced bread,"
they meanit's the greatest thing
in an unimaginably long time.
This was made the yearbefore that.
The year before the standardfor a long time ago.
The whole thingis made of wood.
You know,that indestructible substance
that NASA usesfor its space shuttles.
I think if they wantthe ride to be really scary
when you're strapped in
and goingon that first big climb,
they should just haveall these facts going by.
Like, click, click,click, click.
This ride was made in 1927.
Of materialthat termites eat.
By people who thoughtcigarettes were nutritious.
Click.Bam, here's a bruise.
Steep droponce you know the facts.
Whenever I talkabout The Cyclone in New York,