some alarming newscoming out of Russia.
Scientists trapped bypolar bears at a weather station
in the Arctic may have to waitan entire month
for help to arrive.
The bears have encircleda weather station--
this is north of Siberia.
The Russians have the most fun.
So, uh, yeah, that's right--
polar bears have trappedclimate researchers
inside an Arcticweather station.
And let this be a lesson.
This is what happens when yougive bears too much Coca-Cola.
That's what happens when they'reall hopped up on the sugar--
they go out of their minds.
The same thing happened to meat my nephew's birthday party.
I gave a bunch ofeight-year-olds one sheet cake,
and I spent three monthstrapped on the monkey bars.
It was the most horribleexperience of my life.
All joking aside,though, people,
bears are seriouslydangerous animals.
And I know they don'tlook like it, you know,
'cause they're alwayssoftening your laundry
or wiping their buttswith your toilet paper,
but even cute bearscan be dickheads.
Especially the cute ones.
Like, you thinkteddy bears are cute?
You have, like, I havea teddy bear that I bought.
These things, like, you see--
listen to the thingsthey say now.
BEAR:Go back to Africa.
What is-what is that?
What is that?
Lis-Listen to this,listen to this.
BEAR:I wuv you.
I can't stay madat you, Teddy. Aw.
BEAR:Don't give me AIDS.
Damn you, teddy bear.
I told you we use condoms.
Now, the Russian scientists--they aren't allowed
to shoot the polar bears
because the bears arean endangered, uh, species.
So instead they're trying toscare them off with flare guns.
But I-I think there's somethingelse they could do, you know?
They could do a lot betterthan that. Think about it.
You're climate scientists.
You're trying to frightenthe polar bears,
just show them your research.That's all you got to do.
Just be like, "This is what'shappening to you.
"This is what's happening.
Are you afraid now?Are you afraid?"