David Feldman - Legalize Narcotics

  • Season 7 , Ep 19
  • 06/19/2003
  • Views: 0

David Feldman wants to legalize all narcotics. (2:13)

David Feldman: I'M NOT SICK,

SOCIETY IS ILL.

WE LIVE IN A VERY HYPOCRITICAL

CULTURE WHERE A MAN CAN KILL

A SHEEP, COOK IT AND EAT IT:

HE'S A GOURMET.

BUT FALL IN LOVE WITH THAT VERY

SAME SHEEP...

[LAUGHTER]

AND THE CHILD WELFARE OFFICE

WANTS TO TAKE AWAY MY KIDS.

WHY, FOR LOVING SOMETHING?

ISN'T THERE ENOUGH HATRED

ON THIS PLANET?

ANYTHING THAT'S PLEASURABLE,

THEY WANNA TAKE AWAY FROM YOU.

REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS,

YOUNG MAN, HERE IN NEW YORK

CITY?

ARE YOU FROM NEW YORK?

REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS,

HERE, WHEN THEY USED TO LET YOU

SMOKE AT THE COCKFIGHTS?

[LAUGHTER]

ANYTHING THAT'S PLEASURABLE,

THEY TAKE AWAY FROM YOU.

YOU CAN'T SMOKE AT THE

COCKFIGHTS, CAN'T DO DRUGS,

NOT THAT I WOULD EVER ADVOCATE

DRUG USE.

BELIEVE ME, BEING A STAND-UP

COMIC, I KNOW FIRSTHAND HOW EASY

IT WOULD BE TO TURN TO DRUGS.

[LAUGHTER]

I DON'T DO DRUGS.

I JUST THINK THERE'S A LITTLE

HYPOCRISY IN THIS INSANE WAR

AGAINST NARCOTICS IN THIS

COUNTRY.

FOR EXAMPLE, RIGHT BEFORE COMING

OUT HERE, THE PRODUCER SAID,

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ANY JOKES THAT

PORTRAY DRUGS IN A FAVORABLE

LIGHT."

NOW WHERE THE HELL DOES

TELEVISION GET THE GALL PASSING

JUDGMENT ON DRUGS?

TV IS THE MOST LETHAL OPIATE

IN OUR COUNTRY.

HELLO?

[LAUGHTER]

THE AVERAGE TEENAGER WATCHES

6 HOURS OF TELEVISION EVERY DAY.

AT LEAST WITH DRUGS YOU'RE OUT,

YOU'RE SINGING, YOU'RE DANCIN'.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU'RE MEETING PEOPLE.

YOU'RE BREAKIN' INTO HOMES.

YOU'RE NETWORKIN'.

[LAUGHTER]

I WOULD NEVER TELL YOU TO DO

DRUGS, BUT I DO KNOW HOW WE CAN

WIPE OUT DRUG ADDICTION IN THIS

COUNTRY.

LEGALIZE ALL NARCOTICS.

[APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

LET CRACK AND HEROIN BE

MANUFACTURED BY THE

PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES,

THAT WAY NOBODY CAN AFFORD THEM.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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