Bill Burr - Spousal Homicide

  • Season 1 , Ep 2
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 14,394

Why do men kill their wives? (1:56)

HEY, WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THESEGUYS KILLING THEIR WIVES NOW?

NO, LIKE EVERY COUPLE OFWEEKS IN THE NEWS.

YOU SEE THAT (BLEEP).DUDES KILLING THEIR WIVES.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.FIRST OF ALL,

WHY WOULD YOU KILL ANOTHERPERSON AND SECOND OF ALL,

DON'T THEY THINK THEWHOLE THING THROUGH?

LIKE HOW THE WHOLE THING'SGONNA PLAY OUT?

LIKE, I'M GONNA KILL MY WIFE,THEN I'M GONNA GET CAUGHT,

THEN I'M GONNA GO TO JAIL,THEN I'M GONNA GET (BLEEP)EDIN THE ASS.

I LIKE THE BEGINNING, 'CAUSESHE'S KINDA BEEN A PAIN INTHE ASS LATELY.

DO THEY THINK THEY'RE GONNAGET AWAY WITH IT?

IT'S LIKE, DUDE YOU'RE NOT GONNAGET AWAY WITH IT, YOU KNOW WHY?

YOU'RE NOT A CRIMINAL;YOU'RE JUST A (BLEEP)ING GUY.

YOU WORK AT A STAPLES.JUST LIKE ONE DAY,

YOU'RE JUST...YOU KNOW WHATI'M GONNA DO?

I'M GONNA (BLEEP)INGKILL MY WIFE.

NO, AND IT'S ALMOSTLIKE THEY WING IT.

'CAUSE THEY ALWAYS (BLEEP) ITUP, THEY GET BLOOD ALL OVERTHE PLACE.

THEN THEY HACK UP THE BODY,THEY THROW IT OUT

AND IT ALWAYS COMES BACK 'CAUSETHEY NEVER DO IT RIGHT.

NO, YOU GOTTA (BLEEP)UP THE TORSO.

I DON'T KNOW IF ANYBODY'S-WHAT? NOBODY, WHAT?

DUDE IF YOU WATCHED ANY OFTHAT A&E (BLEEP)

OR, HOW MANY TIMES ON THE NEWSDO YOU GOTTA SEE...

A HEADLESS TORSO WAS FOUNDFLOATING IN THE BAY...

THAT'S A GUY. THAT'S JUST A GUY.WHAT ARE YOU GONNA JUST SHOW UP

TO THE PICNIC PEOPLE, HEY,WHERE'S YOUR WIFE?

OH, I THOUGHT SHE WASWITH YOU...

WAIT IS THISPOTATO SALAD?

AS A MAN THE NUMBER ONETHING YOU'RE SUPPOSED

TO AVOID IN LIFE IS GETTING(BLEEP)ED IN THE ASS AND

THIS GUY HAS JUST LAID THEGROUNDWORK...

FOR THIS TO HAPPEN NIGHTAFTER NIGHT AFTER NIGHT.

UNTIL ONE DAY BY THE GRACE OFGOD SOMEBODY STICKS YA...

AND THAT'S ACTUALLY A GREATMOMENT IN YOUR LIFE,

WHEN YOU GET THAT ICE PICKMADE OUT OF A TOOTHBRUSHJABBED INTO YA,

THAT'S ACTUALLY A GOOD DAY ATTHAT POINT.

YA KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU JUST(BLEEP)ING DIVORCE HER?

JUST GIVE HER HALF YOUR CDS,PACK UP YOUR CLOTHES.

I MEAN IS THAT SO DIFFICULT?

Loading...