Extended - #HashtagWars - #DogCelebs - Uncensored

Extended - Thursday, January 12, 2017 - Uncensored 01/12/2017 Views: 247

In honor of Pitbull's birthday, Jamie Lee, Brian Moses and Michelle Buteau create dog-inspired names for celebrities. (3:11)

>> HARDWICK: And now it is time

for tonight's #HashtagWars.

(cheering)

Well, let's take some time now

to wish every Miami resident and

strip club employee a Happy

Pitbull's Birthday!

(cheering)

♪ You know you want me

You know I wantcha

You know you want

I know you want... ♪

I... I'm not dressed for that at

all.

This does not match:

♪ You know you want me

You know you want me, you... ♪

I don't know why I'm doing this.

>> Because, no, that's what he's

doing.

>> HARDWICK: I guess it is, but

this is also kind of that, like,

that porn move, like, "Oh, I

gotta... hey, I better cheat my

nuts to camera to make sure..."

>> "Cheat my nuts"?

>> HARDWICK: Cheat 'em out.

♪ Cheat 'em out

Cheat 'em at the camera ♪

Come on, you don't have nuts if

the camera can't see 'em!

Play those to the camera!

♪ You know you want...

All right. This Sunday, Mr.

Worldwide turns 36!

>> Oh, my God!

>> HARDWICK: Which is 14 years

younger than I thought he was.

(laughter)

Hey, I was so surprised to hear

that.

I'm like, "Oh, Pitbull, he's,

like, 50."

>> I feel like he's ageless.

You don't know when...

I don't even know what he

looks like-- I've never seen his

eyes.

(laughter)

Does he even have eyes?

>> HARDWICK: What if he just

took them out and they were just

sockets, like, just two...?

>> I would try to fuck that

socket.

Sorry, not sorry.

>> How do you fuck a socket?

>> I'm gonna figure it out.

>> HARDWICK: She's gonna figure

it out.

You... you can do a little

socket scissoring.

I don't know how that works.

>> Aw...

Wow. This riff got really weird.

Okay, let's just drag this.

So Pitbull is ageless, he has no

eyes and you're scissoring his

eye holes, like...

That was just a fun journey.

They'll be celebrating in the

traditional manner of throwing

champagne bottles at a

speedboat.

We, we...

He looks like a Miami Vice

villain, let's be honest.

Uh, we, we here at @midnight are

gonna honor Pitbull's big day

with tonight's very logical

hashtag, #DogCelebs.

Examples might be Collie Parton,

and my personal favorite, Cuba

Good Boy Junior.

Uh, I'm gonna put 60 seconds on

the clock and begin.

Jamie.

>> Barbara Chihuahua Walters.

>> HARDWICK: Yes, very good.

Michelle.

>> Anderson Pooper.

That's how I like my news.

>> HARDWICK: Ah, that'd be a

gorgeous silver dog.

Points-- Jamie.

>> David Foster A Dog Wallace.

>> HARDWICK: Yes, points.

Nice message-- Michelle.

>> Jimmy Kimbull.

>> HARDWICK: Yes, points.

Brian.

>> Rachel Rabies.

>> HARDWICK: Yes, points.

Jamie.

>> Hip Dyspla Zsa Zsa Gabor.

>> Yeah.

>> HARDWICK: Yes, very good.

>> Yeah, Jamie, yes.

>> HARDWICK: Yes, Brian.

>> Cujo Piscopo.

>> HARDWICK: Yes, points.

Michelle.

>> Angela Basset Hound.

>> HARDWICK: Points, yeah, yeah.

It was right there, come on.

Jamie.

>> Corgi Feldman.

>> HARDWICK: Yes, points.

Brian.

>> Charles Barkley.

>> HARDWICK : Yes, points.

Jamie.

>> Shit Susan Sarandon.

>> Oh, yeah.

(Hardwick laughing)

>> HARDWICK: Yes, definitely,

definitely points.

All right, good.