-Ladies and gentlemen,Baron Vaughn.
-My pre-show rituals.
Basically I just stareat myself in the mirror
until my face doesn'tmake any more sense.
And then I do this.
I like you, mean toyourself in the mirror.
The first joke I ever told, Isaid, I'm very nervous tonight,
because usually when ablack person is in front
of this many people,he's for sale.
And people went, enh.
Why would you everwant to shoot me?
Scoot doot doot doot'ndoot doo-dee deet deet doo.
And then I justplowed through it.
You're right-- theworld needs clowns.
When you bomb, it just goesstraight into your long-term
memory, and pretty mucheverything you do after that is
to avoid that everhappening again.
At some point, you makepeace with bombing,
and that's when you becomea true comedian, hopefully.
Goodbye used tobe God be with ye?
Like, next time's someone'slike, I'm leaving,
don't be like, OK, see ya.
Put on a show.
Put on some dramaticmusic and just go,
I know not what will happenwhen you leave my sight.
Terror and fear are youronly true companions
in this beast's gutwe call existence.
Best advice I evergot was, how is it
that your comedyreveals your morality.
If you try to approach revealingwhat you believe in on stage,
then you're doing OK.
So I try to approachthat, even though I
tend to traffic inabsurd nonsense.
That's what I believe in.
Absurdity and nonsense.
So until next I gaze uponyour face, God be with ye.
All right, that's itfor me, everybody.
Thank you very much.
I'm Baron Vaughn.